2nd child just started on seizure meds

HI, I have two children my first is 11 years old. She had her first grand mal at age 6 weeks then nothing until she was 13 months old with the second grand mal and the start of an endless cycle of no answers. She had had many eeg's which all come back normal, CT scan which was normal and her MRI at age 13 months was normal. She was on tegretol and she would have seizures every 3 months finally at 18 months we saw a naturalpath and had a hair test done she had low calcium magnesium and postassium. They put her on a supplement for the cal/mag but when she was diagnosised with ketotic hypoglycemia she went off of it as she couldn't have it in juice, is allergic to milk and wouldn't take it in the water. She also just two years ago developed moderate mitral valve prolaspe. She has been on a variety of meds over the years but did get to a 3 year seizure free recently on Carbatrol only to have a very bad seizure where it looked like a grand mal but she was awake and can recall the whole event. They also found in 2003 on an MRI after having many grand mals and being unstable coming off of trileptial that she had cerebellum deterioration. But no outward sysmptoms of this except she gets dizzy on uneven ground and she can not balance to ride a bike. My 11yo dd seizures are sometimes grand mal, sometimes focal, and can affect many different parts of her body or be just a finger pulse. My second child was born 11 months ago. He had his first seizure when he was 9 months old. But from the time he was born she had this weird lower jaw vibration or eyes twitching from birth from time to time. The doctors told me not to worry a lot of babies do that. After the seizure he had a CT normal, EEG normal and a MRI normal. HIs first seizure is like a focal seizure and then it spread and lasted over an hour just to return and have to be stopped in the ER. The second was a very short hand open close 30 second stop and restart then go away on its own. His third was just his stomach muscles contracting and releasing for 6-7 minutes then stopped. Both of my children started having seizures when they started to wean from nursing. Both started at about the same age. My 11yo had been tested for so many things all tests were negative. Except a few times after a seizure she had had low calcium, or magnesium, or potatsium levels. Her neurologist said to us that these conditions are extremely rare and are not the cause without even doing any testing. I am getting frustrated as we were told before considering having a second child that it would be rare for a second child to have seizures also. We also homeschool and I have noticed since my 11yo starting having seizures she is not as alert and has been struggling for years with reading and learning but is slowly making progress. I am hoping someone here can help us as I feel that there is something we are missing.