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when it rains, it pours...

Tue, 03/21/2006 - 07:35
Hi everyone, Joyce here... I was wanting to know if it is normal too feel as though the harder you try the less you get and others see? Here lately I feel like I take 1 step forward and 9 steps backwards, down this never ending hole that only seems to get bigger every day instead of smaller. I try to put what happens the day before behind me and accept the new day as way of trying to accomplish what I was unable to the day before and think of it as a chance to keep trying untill I succeed. So can someone tell me why that thery is not working for me? Being part of this support group has been a good thing for me, I find myself a little more less guarded as the days go by. I feel safe opening up about things that have scared me for months and that means more to me then anyone can possibly imagine. I have a few people from here that e-mail me on a regular basis now and its great, I love it and hope that more of you will reach out and be my friend. Yesterday was a day that was nothing but bad news, every turn I made I was getting bad news, all day long. Today is a new day and hopefully it will be a happier day news wise for me. My Dad's colon cancer may be back, my nephew was in a vehicle accident in Portland, My landlady is being way too nit picky and threatened my boyfriend and I was unable to pay my power bill of 181.00, I only have $50.00 left to my name untill next month. There are too many days where I want to just barry my head in the sand and forget the world is even here but if there is one thing I have learned rother I like it or not, is this: If you spend the rest of your life running from what scares you, you will never really enjoy what life you may have left. How do you finally accept what is wrong with you and move beyond that "I am a burdon to my family" syndrome? Do you ever really accept the fact that the way you used too be will never be again and that you have to accept a new you?I want what I no longer am capable of doing and find this too be my biggest challenge so far. Well untill later everyone, stay safe and may God bles you all. Joyce

Comments

Re: when it rains, it pours...

Submitted by Dan Marple on Wed, 2006-03-22 - 15:55
Hi Joyce Some days may be tougher than others while appearing in clusters. There will be good times ahead. It isn't always bad. By opening up about things you are being a very couragous person. Epilepsy is not easy to live with, but it presents an opportunity to be brave. People with epilepsy are almost forced to take the challenge to face something very few have a chance at. It can make them a strong person, no matter what others think. It also presents a chance for new goals in life, as much of an oxymoron that sounds like. It may pay to keep a Journal to release pent-up feelings and clearing one's mind to start anew. Looking back at it may give one a feeling of goodness about what they have overcome. While it is important to keep those you love in mind, it is important to keep yourself strong for them. If others set expectations of you, they may see you as strong when you assert yourself and just be who you are. God Bless You too!

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