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Solace
Fri, 02/27/2015 - 18:4420 years of constant seizures. One attack after another. EEGS, MRI, CT Scans, Video monitoring, Blood Tests - all normal. Medicines from Depakote to Lamictal, Neurontine to Topamax, no relief. The elpileptologist diagnosed Non-Epileptic Seizures which means to brain surgery. The first 10 years of life was fun and I was happy with a seizure here and there, but the past 26 years is a constant pounding of electrical strikes that never leave my plagued body.
I have no identity, no awareness of my surroundings, and do not remember what it was like to be seizure free. I don't want a pep-talk or a pat on the back. I'm sick of the hugs and "it will be okays". I want hard, evidential proof that this awful affliction will someday either let up or decrease its intensity.
This is not my fault. I did nothing wrong to deserve this. I fear God's wrath, and maybe this hell on earth is punishment for being born, but when I am one day judged, what will I have contributed to this world? With constant attacks, spells, episodes, seizures, whatever you want to call it, where on earth can I find solace?
Thank you for allowing me to vent,
Mid-Missouri
Joe I too once said "Why Me"
Submitted by just_joe on Sat, 2015-02-28 - 09:17
Joe I too once said "Why Me" I later heard an answer to that question. "Why No You" There is a web site for people with PNES (non epileptic seizures. Try checking out what they have been doing since they have seizures and things that can be done? http://nationalseizuredisordersfoundation.org/pnes/ <<<< their web site hope this helpsJoe