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Self-Doubt
Thu, 05/28/2015 - 19:08I'm wondering if I'm the only person who struggles with this. When I speak to a doctor or someone else about my seizures, a new trigger, symptom, etc., I assume (probably 8/10 times) that they think I am making it up or think it is all in my head, so to speak. I feel this way even when no one has made any suggestion in that vein. I don't know whether this is ingrained from childhood-maybe I had experiences where people didn't believe what I was telling them about my seizures and I just don't recall-or from the last several years. Perhaps I'm just insecure for no reason, or maybe I am correct in thinking people feel that way about the things I say. It causes me a lot of distress to say something to a medical professional and then think, "he/she doesn't believe me/thinks I am looking for attention/thinks I am crazy," even though they haven't said anything. It's true, I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks, but I think it goes deeper to an, "If an expert doesn't believe me, I must be wrong and just an idiot," sort of thing.
I guess it's hard to explain what I'm trying to describe, but I want to know whether I'm the only one who has this specific insecurity. It brings on a lot of negative self-talk and I don't know why it's happening or how logical I am or am not being. Sorry if this is wildly confusing. Thanks xx
You aren't the only person
Submitted by just_joe on Fri, 2015-05-29 - 17:24
You aren't the only person that gets these feelings. For me it wasn't doctors because I know my doctors know I have seizures and know I know about my seizures and the time it takes to get back to normal. At times my PCP didn't think about it but he knew I had seizures since I had had some in his office. I told him about my new medications working like it does and he gave me a wierd look. I had one in his office about a month ago. I stopped in the middle of a conversation about another isue and finished the sentence a few seconds later. I aksed him what he thought the delay in my sentence was. When I told him it was a seizure he said I need to stay on that medication because it has done wonders in the time frames I had had compared to the time frame in that seizure. Most people don't like hearing about symptoms and many are still thinkking the only seizzure there is is a grand mal seizure.