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This is ruining my mental state, life, career and body

Before I had the nicest body ever. I looked amazing. I ate so well and was happy. Now I'm depressed, gaining alarming amount of weight (this is horrible I'm a model) and I go to them gym often an am seeing NO results. we're talking 5 times a week. Then I get depressed and eat whatever is in my path and take lorazopam. Then I take (this is embarassing) I'm ruining my stomach, too! PS We're talking going from 152 lbs to 179 lbs in 1 month at 6 foot 2 and half..I feel soooo hopeless.


agh..prior to the first seizures I ever had in my life at 23 in October I took fat burners from GNC at times and drank redbull like Ive learned in respect to redbull everything in moderation. But scared out of my mind to drink it since my seizures. Grand mal or what theyre called.


I'm just wondering has anyone on here took fat burners and if so which ones? If I dare to take one will I have a full blown seizure cause I did go 3 years prior using them on and off and didnt...and redbull..I wouldnt mind the occassional one here and there but I'm scared I'll die and have a seizure if I have one.


Question 1. Anyone here take fat burners? reccomendations for safe ones. I know a good well balanced diet and follow it. My binges are emotional related. But I'd still like a reccomendation in terms of a fat burner please..cause I'm buying something either way and I figured I should come here first before someone who doesnt understand seizures sells me something bad.


2. Redbull- I drink 2-3 cups of coffee a day how bad could redbull be for me 2 a week? does anyone here drink it?


3. Not on any seizure medication because I was allergic to them all! got SJS from all them. Well, the 3 they gave me. Theyre saying my seizures where unrelated and I dont have epilepsy. but who knows? the first thing they diagnosed me with from A MRI, CATSCAN they made a mistake!!!!!! an MRI!!!! unreal. so I lived that month in depression thinking I had something I never had. Then they said Epilepsy and then they said Nope its not just had 2 seizures naturally i dont have much faith here.


Medication on- Lorazopam take everyday. Xanax starting to take everyday again due to my constant depression. Temazopam for sleep.


Sorry to hear of your troubles.  I understand that you're a model, but you should try to focus on you health-not your glam appeal.  Go see a therapist and/or a psychiatrist.  I have actual seizures as well as pseudoseizures, where your body thinks and acts like you're having a real seizure, but there isn't the same electrical strom on the brain. 

 I know for me, caffeine is not a good thing, but I realize that it's inevitable that you'll consume it.  Try to keep it as low as you can.  Find out what causes these seizure.  If you must take diet pills (179 is not that big-especially for how tall you are) than watch your body's symptoms carefully.  you may find that the pills actually cause or increase your seizures.   Please consider stopping this habit.  YOur doctorcan help with this.  Where you buy them  from is not necessarily the factor.


As for the lorazopam, temazepam, and the xanax - be careful.  I been on these.  Taking them for me wasn't normally what caused the seizures, it was once my body was used to it and I stopped, your seizure theshold lowers and you have grand mals in your case.  These meds work short term, but can be hard to stop-take it from me.  I try to think of lorazopam as a form of alcohol-the more you take the better you feel, so you could find it extremely hard to stop taking them.  Your liver and kidneys should be checked, and you should watch out for them with all those meds.  None of them are meant to be taken for long periiods of time.  Just talk to your doctor about a therapist and bring this up.


I know things are hard for you, and I'm sorry for that.  Epilepsy is a serious and horrifying thing for you and anyone who sees what happens.  Ask people to time your seizures, and if they last for more than 4 minutes, they need to call 911 immediately so that you can get oxygen in time.  This is critical.  There is something call status epilepticus  which is when you have one seizure after another after another.  This can be fatal if you don't seek emergency help fast.  You need to find your triggers.  What causes your seizures?  stress alcohol drugs or medications - anything really.  Keep what we call a seizure diary.  Write down thedate, time and duration of your seizures and anything else you remember about it.   This is easier if someone else is with you and can write this information down.  You probably will have poor memory around the event and most people go to sleep right after.


Please take care, and watch out for those caffinated energy drinks, ginko, gensing and taurine.  An y of these can spell bad news for you, and I'd hate to see that.  Focus on your health and life-not just on your look.  Your body will thank you.  And don't forget to go see that therapist/psychiatrist.  They'll be able to help you manage the stress and depression properly.  Going there doesn't make you crazy.  This is important and is one of the biggest things that cause seizure for me, and depression for me comes right afterwards along with intense fear.  Just telll them everything.  Be honest, they need to know.  This is your life.

Happy holidays,


Thank you so much for getting back to me. I really found that helpful. Yes, I should seek someone to speak to about this. I just have so many shoots coming up in January and I cant afford to blow them. I'm already on thin ice with many of my agencies and I'm so scared they wont be impressed because Ive gained some weight. I need to buy something to kick start me and fast and this gives me all kinds of anxiety. I guess I'll just risk it and buy something.


I dont know what my triggers are. I wish I did. The first Seizure was what they call a "grand mal" seizure and I have no memory of what was leading up to it or triggers. I dont think I would, because it wouldve of been something I would of not paid attention to, as I never had a seizure in my life before. The second one was in the hospital and yes I think thats what they called it "status something" because it was 5 minutes long. Now, I can't remember much except that I was violently throwing up after it.

I hear that modeling is your life and some people can make a very good living at it.  However, the weights you mentioned is what seemed alarming to me.  I know the fashion business demands models to be stick thin but you are a male and at 152 at 6' 2'' that is alarmingly thin.  Is that what you want to get back at?  I am wondering how much if any food did you eat before to maintain this low weight?  Did you have an extensive blood work up?  You might have low levels of something in your blood, because of your low weight, that is causing these spells.  It sounds like your doctors don't know if you really have E or not but I really agree with the other poster that you need to get some counseling.  I also think you should stay away from caffeine and things like red bull.  I don't want to say you have an eating disorder since I don't know you but your personality from what you've wrote sounds like someone who has one. 

It might really help you if you did meditating or yoga.  This helps calm the mind and the body.  You can watch DVD's on how to do it or take some classes.  Stress can cause many people to gain weight it can affect your metabolism.  I hope you don't have any more episodes and you start getting some counseling soon.

peace R.C.

  Here brother.

 I had a flash back and looked at a few "books" files. 

 This is very credible I,m sure or I would not have saved it.

 I had this stored with updated data on medications and side effects. Rick

peace R.C.

Lol well thought I was better OOOPPPS  .

I understand you're trying to help, but my concerns are these: moderating drug use, tobacco use, or potentially unsafe habits does not make them any safer.  Show me an actual study, and I'll consider it.  These guidelines may work for you, but will definitavely not work for everyone with epileptic syptoms.  For many, it will also exacerbate, or make them worse, just like AED's can worsen certain types of epilepsy. 

The "cutting down" technique is popular among smokers (who I beloned to for a while).  If I only smoke halk a pack per day instaed ppf a full pack, its better for me.  Studies have shown otherwise.  This is why medical insurers are so concerned on whether you have smoked in the last year (even ONE CIGARETTE).  Do you know how Taurine works on the brain, and hence the body?  The mechanics can most certainly be a trigger, or could possibly supress seizure activity. But without knowing the patient's exact diagnosis or types of seizures, you cannot safely say that it's ok.

I'm not trying to attack you-please don't confuse my comments as this.  I just prefer to play it safe.  Check with your neuro or epileptologist prior to use.  This is the only safe way.  That way, someone can monitor your symptoms and whether they improve or worsen.

peace R.C.

  Hi no High

 I amsaying something maybe not so much with some answers but a heads up to know you are far from alone. 

 If I can remember from your post you say several things that WAY off base.

  You say "i,m going to do it anyway"  ? then WHY ask for advice?

  You also say allergic to ALL OF THEM  , The very nature of these meds is the fact that there is so much of a fine line with them "meaning" the unknown . balancing them for sz. control, it is so wide open .

  The disclaimers on these meds says everything imaginable  "all bases covered"

  It takes 30 days just to level off and begin to understand how it is affecting you.

  I have the oppisite problem as you . I have lost a lot of weight from anxiety and depression .

   with out a medical degree I can safely say HIGH LEVELS of caffeine ecspecially all at once can have very different effects when combined with these AED,S and then with the mood alterting meds you mentioned.

  It may not be the caffeine as much as hte surge of the other med. or how the caffeine "altered" the other med. so it has a "different" affect on your body/mind. posibly even making them at some level TOXIC.

 You need to take a good look at these meds in a realistic way in a P.D.R. and then read the "fine" print about combining them or "stacking" them  ,specifally  with the aed,s and anti depressent meds. 

 I have refused these several times and on two occasions the 3rd ,4th, doctor was amazed these were combined to begin with. 

 Not just basic imfo. but find the research papers from these studies  . They show the uncertanty of the meds to begin with then the fine lines of some of them.

 some of these "terms" get mis used also. like you metion "status" with a 5 min. gmal would not be correct? so do the doc,s not know and gave you the wrong imfo. or did you just say the wrong thing?

  It is helpful when trying to link yourself in this mess to get some of the wording right. 

 Brother I feel for you, and you are still in great shape  . I tell you what, I will take about 10 lb,s from you as long as I get a little muscle tone with it ,it will be a good trade.?  I do all my own cooking from scratch so my kid would love a little fast food (grrr. lol) so a little homeade some thing or other , for some junk food COOL.

  BTW... I have taken around 13 aed,s now, various "anti-depressents" (grrr.) sleep aids. I am in a drug study right now for aed,s, drink a pot of coffee a day, have had over 1,000 gmal szs. most over 20-30 min. long.

  Have 15 sober/drug free.   The anxiety ,stress, is a vicous circle with szs.  it feeds on itself . a smile and that peice of mind is the most valuable  medication in the drug cabinet. . enough rambling Rick






Please do be careful.  This very well may be something that you'll experience for a very long time.  "risking it and buying somthing" is hardly worthwhile.  You might make the shoots coming up, but if you increase the frequency of your seizures because of the diet pills and energy drinks, you'll definately be missing more down the line.  My first group of them were grand mals as well, after a humvee accident occurred almost 2 years to the day previous.  Learning what causes them to come on will take time for you, but it's important to pay close attention to to everything.  Write it down as you feel wierd things you're not used t.  If you see scolors or hazes around lights, or your vision gets poor, it could be an "aura" or a precursor to something bigger.  Definately see your doctor and bring this up, but please don't risk your health just to make an agency shoot.  It may seem like the right thing to do now, but again, think of the long term effects.


Hey again SMT,

Spoke with my doctor (unfortunately I need to get an appointment to see my neurologist, so this was my psychiatrist).  He definately said that he would not like me to start taking taurine, either in an energy drink form, or to "treat" seizures.  Mostly because the doctor teams would have no real way to supervise the quality or grade of the substance and how much or how often I take it, and also because there have not been any definative tests that have proven it's anti-epileptic properties to specialists.  He was only willing to comment for me, but said it in a general way that made it sound like it was pretty standard.  Unless, I'm guessing, you start seeing a naturopathic MD that knows specifically how to deal with epilepsy.  If you find one of those, let me know.  Some people have also found that medicinal cannabis is helpful in controlling their seizures-however, many folks have reported that it makes theirs much worse.  These can lead to self medicating, and the way you describe your use of diet pills and energy drinks, I'd say you are probably at high risk for this issue.  It may not seem like a big deal, but it can quickly turn on you and end up with you thinkning you're helping your body-because your brain says you feel better.  But at the same time, your chances for having more seizures increases.  I wasn't just mentioning seeing a mental health specialist for the hell of it, I'm really concerned for you.  After I began haveing these things, my life changed drastically.  I became even more depressed and anxious, which  would just lead to more seizure acttivity.  This can also push you closer and closer to drug use, which you need to watch out for.  I know you feel like you know your body best, but to put it bluntly, right now, you don't.  As you said, this is a new set of experiences for you.  I agree with the other users comments.  If you're just going to "do it anyways", why are you concerned with how it's going to afftect you?  I'm talking about the diet pills and red bull, mostly here.  Are you driving right now?  Besides being just plain dangerous to yourself and others (you could easily kill someone), it is almost certainly illegal.  In my state, a motorist with epilepsy ignored the doctor's stern guidelines about driving restrictions until they were seizure freeand went out driving anyways.  They had a complex partial seizure and ended up killing someone.  Knowing that you were responsiblewould be bad enough, but since the doctor said not to because of this risk and they"did it anyways", they were convicted of VEHICULAR HOMOCIDE charges and sentenced to 6 years in prison for it.Again, is this worth it?  Probably the hardest this I had to do was to stop driving.  That was my favorite thing to do-just go out on long drives or road trips.  This almost certainly add to depressive and anxiety symptoms, but that's why  seeing a mental health provider is SO importnt for you.  


I think you need to take a couple days to just stop everything you have going on, and re evaluate your life.  What is important to you?  What can you live without?  What do you need?  There are other jobs around, even in a poor economy.  If chugging redbull and popping pills whenever you feel like it is what you think means the most in your entire life, no one on a website forum is going to be able to convince you not to do these things.  Your only hope lies in the medical community.  But don't just take my word for it.  Ask others.  Ask your family and loved ones.  Please speak to your doctor...And I don't think you can safely stand to wait until February.  SMT, sorry to say it in this way, but I don't think you get it.  You're putting your life directly at risk now.  Pull your head out of your butt and look around you.  Do you really want grand mals to start to occur enough to where you definately lose contracts?  diet pills+redbull all the time is a quick means to an end for a healthy person, and right now, you are not.


I am wondering why you mentioned taurine as something to avoid.  I read this on a website recently:


Taurine. An amino acid that appears to have antiseizure capabilities, and has gotten good reviews from some adults with bipolar disorders. It inhibits abnormal electrical activity in the brain, and is often found to be deficient in brain tissue where seizures have been occurring. Interestingly, rapid cyclers report the best results. Recommendations range from 500 to 1000 mg per day, divided into as many as three doses. Experts recommend buying only pharmaceutical-quality L-taurine from reputable manufacturers.



Wow, thanks for bringing this up.  Can't say I recommend it, but I would definately talk with your neurologist about using it.  I know in my case, it not only has increased my seizures within hours, but I also have bipolar-pretty severly, and it definately has not helped me there.  Lithium is still the only thing to add much benefit (which has also reported seizures in some cases, I guess), and also seroquel.

I'm not an expert provider, just a full time patient.  And I can definately tell you about how it affects me.  Things like this that have not been proven to help, but appear on "a website" can often bring confusing and sometimes dangerous results.  Again, please speak with your doctor before beginning any regiment with herbal or non-prescription medications.


Wow, thanks for bringing this up.  Can't say I recommend it, but I would definately talk with your neurologist about using it.  I know in my case, it not only has increased my seizures within hours, but I also have bipolar-pretty severly, and it definately has not helped me there.  Lithium is still the only thing to add much benefit (which has also reported seizures in some cases, I guess), and also seroquel.

I'm not an expert provider, just a full time patient.  And I can definately tell you about how it affects me.  Things like this that have not been proven to help, but appear on "a website" can often bring confusing and sometimes dangerous results.  Again, please speak with your doctor before beginning any regiment with herbal or non-prescription medications.


So, you're taking an anti-anxiety med for depression? I lorzepam serves a use for epilepsy, to stop status epilep... something and anxiety so I can see the reasoning for the med when it comes to epilepsy. But what about your depression?  I don't know about what kind of doctor you are seeing but I genuinely think that if it's a regular neuro to change to an epileptologist. I see an epileptologist who cares for women with epilepsy and reffered me to a gynocologist that works with women who have epilepsy. We have it hard and the changes a woman has every month alone affects women in such a difficult manner. So, add that those problems to suffering from epilepsy and you've real problems on your hands. Especially for someone like yourself because this has turned your life upside down much like mine was when I was perfectly healthy all of a sudden had encephalitis, got better THEN started to have seizures. I can relate and it's hard, depressing, and out of control for someone who once had control in her life. Sorry about it but the best way to try and take control is to look for help that will make a difference in you state of health. Best wishes to you and your health. Sofia

p.s I was recently diagnosed with ADHD ugghh and more meds but more control too. Control over what I am doing and my daily life activities.


Wow! That seems like so many benzodiazepines to be taking! That might be the reason for a lot of the side effects. I have tried almost every AED out there, and I also take lorazepam for seizures along with xanax for sleep and anxiety attacks. I suffer from MPD/DID and PTSD, apparently, they go hand in hand. I never had most of these issues until my seizures started. My weight seemed to pile up about 2 lbs a month and I could only lose about 1 lb a month no matter what I did. Usually, if I lose any weight it piles back on. You might want to consider trying a surgery such as a VNS implant. If you have seizures or depression you can be eligible. Then, you can get off of some of the medication after 6 months. My VNS has helped a lot and I lost 10 lbs, but I still have issues with it.

A medication you could try that rarely has allergy is Felbatol. I am trying it right now and it took another 5 lbs off of my body and still decreasing. I am also allergic to most AEDS, so I was always switching. The less medication, the better you will feel. I find that if I only use a very low dose of xanax, and practice things like yoga and jogging, my anxiety and depression lessens.

 I see a therapist too, and she has made a huge difference in my life. I hope you feel better!

P.S. - I also have really bad insomnia to where I wont sleep for days at a time, and then only sleep for about an hour or two. Melatonin (at a high dose) helps a lot. It is not a medication, and only a sleep hormone. So you should try that out. I am on medical leave right now until I get my life back under control, but social security and disability might be a good idea.

Hi smt,

I can understand your problem. As you said you r allergic to all the AEDs. In fact, it is a matter of debate whether taking AEDs is better than having seizures once in a while. it has so many side-effects, n still no guarantee that seizures won't happen! So don't feel bad about that. May be HE desires that you get well without AEDs!

As many of the friends have suggested here, you should practise yoga (especially Pranayam, the breath exercises). They help you stay calm and strengthen your nervous system by providing sort of massage to the internal organs. I don't know how much I'v gained from it but I'm sure it has helped me control my seizures.

Stay positive, that's my advice dear!! Take care..

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