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Quite the week, I've had

Thu, 08/28/2014 - 06:56

Hello everyone,

I've been a member and have read the forums for a while, but this is the first time I've actually posted; the fact that I'm only doing now in a moment when I need support doesn't make me feel great, but hopefully you'll bear with the free form - this is a long post - because I simply need to get this out there.

I've had tonic-clonic/grand mal seizures since the age of 13, and right now I'm taking Lamictal + Prozac in the morning, and Lamictal + Zonegram at night. I had gone more than two years without an attack, and as you can imagine I was feeling pretty good about that. But last week I had one standing on the sidewalk, waiting for a taxi to take me to the wedding of a very good, old friend of mine; incidentally, he had been driving the car during my very first seizure. The attack itself wasn't severe, in that the convulsions weren't bad enough to make me sore the next day, but every indication is that I simply fell backward (picture a character from the original Mortal Kombat) and got a pretty bad laceration on the back of my head. My girlfriend is a critical care nurse, so she ran up, got me inside, and apparently I was responsive enough that she would allow me to go sit on the toilet by myself, while she threw money at the cabbie/waited for the ambulance to show up; at this point, we were going to go check for subdermal bleeding on my skull. And of course, I had a second seizure on the toilet, keeling forward into the wall - thankfully it's plaster, not marble. I've lost teeth before, but not here.

I'm pretty proud of this part: it took for firemen/paramedics (and a nurse) to strap me down and finally get out of the apartment. Once at the hospital, I wasn't 100% with the answers I was giving to their cognition questions: for example I thought it was April when it was August, I couldn't remember Obama as being president, but I could recall Bush as being before him - and, oh yeah, I vomited three times before rolling straight into a third seizure of the morning during which I turned blue, and my heart rate jumped to 150. On top of everything, then, it looks like I have a concussion; happily, however, my test results didn't indicate any bleeding/long-term damage.

Now, here's the key point. During the past week, more than any other since I've been diagnosed, I've been obsessed with my status as an epileptic and how to better live my life as one: living a life without ever driving again, famous people/role models with epilepsy, pledging myself to nine hours of sleep a night; essentially, defining myself by the condition, and only by it. I've told myself that this is a good, productive thing, since it was obviously self-destructive behavior that brought on the attack - e.g. staying up too late, too much time on the computer, not eating right - and it was that same behavior that caused me to miss my friend's wedding. Again, it was that last point that really hightened the sense of frustration, moreso than embarassment, that I have when I regain full consciousness after a seizure.

Over the past 24 hours, I've found myself crippled by what are hopefully panic attacks (rather than auras). I did go to the emergency department of a nearby hospital, and while it's impossible to make a conclusive diagnosis, there is evidence That metallic-y taste/smell, accelerated heart rate, seeing lights and what I can only describe as a pin wheel/daisy wheel, all of that; interestingly enough that's actually new to me, compared to my otherwise diminished auras for my seizures, which lends evidence to the fact that they're panic attacks, not auras for partial seizures. On top of that, after I try to control my breath, there is indeed a 'loss of time.'

I'm writing this right now in an attempt to pass a bit of time, get something off of my chest, and hopefully get some advice. What do you do in order to help with panic attacks? I see a therapist once a week, and as I mentioned take Prozac; but both those up until this point been more oriented towards depression, and I can only imagine that given everything it wouldn't hurt me to ask you guys for some advice.

Comments

You ned to contact your

Submitted by just_joe on Thu, 2014-08-28 - 11:45
You ned to contact your neurologist and discuss this issue with him. You did post your meds and when you take them. But you didn't post when those medications were started or when the last dosage change was made and that does make a difference. I do understand your desire to be ways to have a better life I also see that you are putting epilepsy in front of you. Which means you are letting epilepsy control your life rather then controlling your epilepsy.  I had gone 3+ years without any kind of seizure before having one. It seems like one of my triggers is getting to hot to fast. So I couldn't follow the career I wanted. Did I let that stop me from going out with friends and having fun? NO. Did I change my life to fit what is wriitten about sleep and other things regarding epilepsy? NO. I dealt with that seizure like I have always done. The seizure was over and I lived my life as I had always done. I never slept 8-9 hours a night. I Ate what I wanted to eat. I did what I wanted to do. I worked with my neurologist and discussed the seizure with him. I had appts every year and if I was still having seizures we discussed what could be done. For every question he asked me I had at least one for him. By asking questions I have gotten the number of seizures down. I have gotten newer medications which have shortened the time in those seizures and the time to get back to normal. Seizures that were 2-5 minutes long are now 2-8 seconds long. The time to get back to normal was 15-45 minutes and now it is also seconds long. While I haven't had a grand mal seizure I still have partial or focal seizures. I could be standing and talking to you and have one and you would probably know nothing about it. I can say that because I had one while at an appt with my PCP and he had seen me in others and he was amazed he didn't see it while we were talking. Depending on the type of epilepsy you have would also tell you the kind of seizures you can have. I was diagnosed long before they came out with types of epilepsy and types of seizures. While I was diagnosed with grand mal, petite mal and focal motor epilepsy I haven't had a convulsive seizure since 1970. I still have seizures but they are nothing compared to those I had when I was a teen. Medications and dosages do need to be checked on and changed from time to time. As far  as driving a person can do almost anything without driving. Before retiring I got about 5-6 hours of sleep a night. I ate almost anything I wanted to since I was the one cooking. I played all kinds of computer games and worked on a computer for hours every day. Basically what I am saying is control your epilepsy and don't let epilepsy control you.  As for driving depending on your state you can get your license back after going a certain period of time without a seizure. In most states it is 6 months. As I posted discuss this with him and ask questions. Do we need to change my medication? Or is the dosage to low or to high? Is there a newer medications that can control my seizures better? Can we add another medication to this one which would control my seizures better? Since this seizure and these feeling are different are there other types of seizures I could have?  I hope this helps and you get seizure free

Your very welcome. Oh and if

Submitted by just_joe on Thu, 2014-08-28 - 18:47
Your very welcome. Oh and if your meds are taken 2 times a day be sure that thsoe times are 12 hours apart. The reason for that is meds lose their strength while in oyur body and if you take them at 7am and 9 pm then the 2 hour delay at night could cause breakthru seizures because your levels are lower then needed to maintain the levels your neurologist wants. I went thru all kind of things while growing up and taking meds at certain hour was not one until I asked Doc what times or how far apart I needed to take them. I think at times some people may thnk I am comming down on them when all I am really ttrying to do is explain things from what I have gone thru and what I have been living and dealing with for 50+ years and yes I did walk around or generally tore things up when I was really upset. It got some things done that would not have gotten done for weeks or even months. I do hope you get everything streightened out and back on course

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