Pregnancy and Medications

My name is Jenn. I was diagnosed with epilepsy 16yrs ago, following two grand mal seizures which have been controlled by anti-seizure meds. For a few years, i struggled with headaches and my neuro put me on different meds. Long story short the side affects i experienced as a result led to me being bed ridden most days. Eventually things straightened out and i was on just carbatrol. I've been able to live a normal life ever since. Granted i do have struggles some days, especially if i dont take my meds at exactly the same time in morning and night, im off. But thats a daily thing i try to work on, just isn't the easiest thing. One of the best things in my life is my relationship these past 6 1/2 years. We just bought a house and things have been going really good. One thing i am struggling with is having kids. I've talked to my neuro and the worries are still there which is becoming more of a daily struggle. When i hear people talk about kids, asking me when im going to have kids or see my boyfriend with his son, the struggle is more real. I worry what if switching meds for pregnancy doesn't work and i have seizures, cant work or drive, or even what if i switch it doesnt work and going back to carbatrol causes more issues. I know women with epilepsy have kids but there is a chance and i've worked hard to get to where i am and being able to live the life i do. Do i risk it all to have a child? If i get pregnant and medications work, there's always the possibility of something happening as well after the baby is born. How am i going to be any good to him/her if im physically unable to. Were also in a situation where both of us need to work. So that's another factor. I just feel like there's a lot of things weighing against me. Oh, and i also have the BRCA gene. My mom has gone through breast cancer twice and ovarian cancer, my grandmother had ovarian and great grandmother breast cancer. So there's those fears as well and preventive methods i want to take in a few years as i want to try and prevent the same things in my own life, if its possible, but its worth the shot. So i need to act soon and i wish it could happen unplanned but that's more of a worry. I just feel alone in this and no one understands. It seems everyone around me has kids and it just happened easily for them. So i guess my question is, would you take the chance, switch meds to get pregnant with the risk that things could change or do you make the difficult decision to not get pregnant at all and if you choose the latter, how do you deal with that?