Please share tips medication that has helped you manage the side-effects of focal seizures?


I am new to this forum and have been in denial about my condition until reading these posts.  After 2 grand-mals when I was 35 (Iam now 42), I was put on Lamictal and have taken it since then.  I then developed focal seizures.  I did not understand the side-effects, and for 2-3 years experiencing this "spaciness", not even knowing I was having seizures.  Now I have the the logical sense to understand what they are, but have been in denial about the side-effect of focal seizures impact what I do on a daily basis.  I have really bad memory issues, that can go back just a day or years- trips I've been on, people I have met, or things that my husband has mentioned repeatedly.  It has almost costed me my marriage, although my husband has been extremely patient, both of us not really knowing what was going on.  After reading these posts, I just cried knowing that these side-effects were not just me, there are others out there experiencing similar issues.  So my question is, what has helped you daily cope with this?  I read accupucture, writing down everything on post-it notes to not forget even the smallest tasks, generating a very strict routine.  I must share that sleep deprivation is a big trigger for more seizures, I take Valerian root and melatonin to help with this, it has done wonders.  Please share any tips!