My Story - Strange Deja Vu Experiences, Is This Epilepsy?

I apologize for the length of this post. I just wanted to address all potential variables that may contribute to my current condition. Side note: At the age of 17, I was involved in a near-fatal car accident. I had multiple broken bones, as well as brain trauma and bleeding on the brain. However, I did not recognize any residual effects from this once I recovered. My name is Phillip. I am a 25-year old male currently working on my Ph.D. Before June 2016, I loved life without even realizing how much I loved it if that makes any sense. However, since about the third week or so of June, I have felt absolutely miserable and miserable might be an understatement. I have had this indescribable mental state that will not go away. It is like there is a brick weighing down on my brain at all times. I also started losing interest in all of my previous interests and hobbies. I used to love listening to music, playing video games, hanging out with my friends, family, and girlfriend, etc. I don’t want to do any of those things anymore. I usually want to be alone and sleep. I used to look forward to the aforementioned things with such passion and now what I look forward to the most is going to sleep because I know I won’t feel miserable when I’m sleeping. I am honestly scared of the morning because I am afraid of another day of feeling absolutely terrible. Importantly, I have been in a committed relationship with my wonderful girlfriend for 2 years now. I love her so much and used to constantly daydream about obtaining my dream job, proposing to her, getting married, and starting our lives together. I apologize for the excessive detail but I was so passionate about making love and being intimate with her. I was always wanting to spend time with her and was passionate about even the smallest things. Now I am always tired, have zero sex drive or desire for intimacy, and I am so easily irritable when we are spending time together. As bad as this might sound, all of this isn’t even the worst part of my current problem. Before my condition started in June, I experienced some VERY strange mental episodes. I didn’t really keep track in my head of how often they occurred but I would estimate 2-3 a month. They were very unpleasant but rare so I didn’t mention them to anyone. I will try my best to explain them, although it is extremely difficult because I believe it is something you just have to experience to fully understand. Here is a list describing my “episodes”: -It is a very strong and unpleasant mental “rush” I suppose you could say. The closest comparison I can provide is déjà vu. It is like it is an emotion I have felt before but it is much stronger and unpleasant than regular déjà vu. -I have not experienced convulsions or loss of consciousness. -They do not always feel the same but they do always feel strong and unpleasant. Many of them have a unique unpleasantness to them if that makes any sense at all. -They all usually last about 10 seconds. -Since I started feeling generally awful in June, I have experienced probably 3-4 on average every day. Some days I have had as many as 6 or 7. I would say there have been 5 days or less since June (June to October) in which I went a full day without having at least one. -A significant part of my discomfort throughout the day is also feeling like I am about to have one. In these cases, I do not experience a full episode, seizure, however you want to refer to it – but I have a strange mental aura like I am about to and it is very unpleasant. I have dubbed these “teasures.” -I have looked for trends (time, location, activity, lights, sounds, etc.) that might correlate with triggering a “seizure” but they have happened in all different times of day and multiple activities. However, it might be important to note that I do tend to experience them when I get up in the morning and go to the bathroom…I have had several while walking through the living room to go to the bathroom or right after stepping into the bathroom. -It is also worthy to note that I have been experiencing headaches frequently and an occasional light-headed feeling. -All of these things considered, I have to wonder…are these epileptic seizures? All of these factors combined have honestly made me not want to wake up in the morning. I don’t have suicidal thoughts, but I just cannot love life anymore feeling like this. On any one day, I feel the worst I had ever felt prior and I have experienced that every day for the past 3-4 months now. Additionally, I have had 8-9 surgeries in my life (due to my car accident) and the pain I have experienced is not near as unpleasant as the “seizures” I am currently going through…and I usually have to deal with those multiple times a day, probably hundreds total in the past few months. That might sound like general depression in ways, right? Well I tried to self-medicate for a while. I tried multivitamins, St. John’s Wort, SAM-e, and 5-HTP to no avail. I went to see a general practitioner and was wanting to request blood tests to see if they revealed any issues. After having 3 blood tests over 2-3 weeks, my GP diagnosed me with low testosterone. Very low to be exact. Each blood test revealed my testosterone levels to be in the 200’s (ng/DL). For those of you unfamiliar with testosterone specifics, studies have shown that the approximate average for males my age is 600. My levels are close to or lower than the levels of an 80-year old male. I was prescribed Androderm patches instead of the alternate options, as my insurance only covers the patches. I have been taking the patches for 3 weeks now and have felt no results so far. I asked my GP what the potential cause for my low testosterone could be and I got the age-old adage, “I don’t know.” I also told her about my “seizures” but she didn’t have much to say about that. I have done very extensive research over the past few months to get at least a general idea of what I am dealing with. I have done immense research on the aforementioned medications and vitamins, seizures, epilepsy, low testosterone, and potential correlations between all of them. My research suggested that epilepsy tends to correlate with low testosterone in men. In conclusion, I am wondering if my “seizures” (if they are seizures) are related to epilepsy. I wish I could provide a better description but it is like an other-worldly experience. Being a Ph.D. student, I was confident in my ability to describe things, but this is beyond my abilities. I would like to ask you all a few questions and I greatly appreciate any responses. Have any of you experienced things like this (or something similar maybe)? Do you believe this is epilepsy-related? Finally, should I see a neurologist about this problem?