Just wanting to connect with someone that knows what it's like

Hi! I've lived with Epilepsy for close to 30 years. Started having seizures in high school out of the blue. Took a few years and several different meds to find what controls, but eventually did. And so have been on Dilantin since ~1990. Seizure free. Have tried to taper dose to see if can get off, was feeling auras and so decided the risk of having a seizure outweighs the side effects of living on Dilantin. Knew about the gum overgrowth - learned to deal with it. Knew to take vitamins to help with bone density probs. Knew the general things we have to live with (ie. need to get sufficient amount of sleep, not going too long without eating, etc..). Other than that, spent very little time thinking about how Dilantin affects my life. Am blessed with a healthy family (2 amazing boys) and what I have always considered to be a happy marriage (of 25 years)..... Just discovered my husband has a porn addiction (something more and more people are finding themselves enslaved to since the rise of high-speed internet). This was causing all kinds of problems in our marriage (i.e. emotional distance, etc..), and so is being addressed. As many people who discover this, I was of course upset, mad, etc.. With doing some reading, I have made a lot of headway with getting past those feelings. And there is also already a bunch of time that has passed. In doing some very deep soul-searching/introspection because of this experience though, I am questioning if maybe part of the problem is that I have been trying to live life as "normal" without taking the time to listen to my body, to know what my wants and needs are. Maybe if I did that, I would actually recognize that I do not want sex, or I do not want it as often as I've had it (basically whenever my husband wanted..). But I never did. And so I think right now, the biggest hurt is coming from the realization that the man I had trusted with my heart and spent my life trying to make happy, has chosen to take advantage of the fact that I NEED to be in bed by a certain time otherwise I will not be able to function the next day, and use that time to seek out additional sexual entertainment for his selfish purposes. Talk about being taken advantage of in your sleep... I'm just doing a lot of thinking/re-evaluating lately. If anyone on here has any experiences relating to their married intimate life while on long term meds that they want to share. I know it definitely makes things easier to talk. I do not know anybody that I can ask something like this of in person, so figured this is the next best thing.. Thanks.