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Explaining to people why you do not drive
Mon, 08/27/2007 - 16:47Do you think I should tell people why I do not drive? I always feel like I need to explain myself. I have talked to people who thought I did not drive because of DUI's. I never know whether I should tell people that I have epilepsy. I do not live in a pedestian friendly area and I am usually the only one waiting for the bus in my neighborhood. I am self-employed and I never know how many people I should tell. I feel like sometimes people think I am brain damaged and will not want to hire me.
Comments
Re: Re: Explaining to people why you do not drive
Submitted by Sicilianna on Mon, 2007-08-27 - 21:30
Believe wrote: "Tell people what you are comfortable with, and never feel obligated to tell anyone what you are uncomfortable with."
This piece of advice is so very important to live by! I've driven for many years now, but there were two times in my life with epilepsy that I had to surrender my license for a period of several years. I found it simple and concise to say, "I'm not driving at the moment due to medical reasons..." in a very matter of fact way with a big, "Ya know.." smile on my face and then get on with the rest of whatever I was speaking of. Most people were satisfied with that, but if someone inquired further, I chose to say, "I have epilepsy and we just have to make sure some things are all right medically before I resume driving." I always said this in a very reassuring manner that seemed natural. Said without fear of criticism, I've always found this approach disarming. This is what I was comfortable with. The amount of detail you give it totally up to you.
Chin up!
~ Sicilianna
"...Only God never changes." St. Theresa of Avila
Re: Re: Re: Explaining to people why you do not drive
Submitted by SunflowerPower on Mon, 2007-08-27 - 23:01
That is such a good point Sicilianna. The more comfortable you are about something, the more comfortable others will be with it.
For example, in the Theatre, many things can go wrong on the stage, but every decent actor knows to just act like the mistake was natural or was supposed to happen, most of the time the audience won’t know the difference.
I am a young person who has muscle weakness, and I have to use my arm to push myself up from the chair. I feel self-conscious about it, but I remember that if I just act like it is completely normal then no one else is likely to notice.
You can challenge yourself to make others feel comfortable about what may be considered as a flaw.
If you say, "I don't drive," in a shameful, hushed voice, then others will assume that it is something to be ashamed of and think that you have a DUI or something.
But if you say, "I can't drive," with confidence and naturalness, then they won't think it's such a big deal. You just have to convey to them that it is nothing to be ashamed of with your tone of voice and body language.
Re: Explaining to people why you do not drive
Submitted by Believe on Mon, 2007-08-27 - 20:31
That's was a real tough one for me too. I haven't driven since this past May. I know people think its strange that I don't drive. At first I was really going through shock over the whole thing and didn't talk about it with anyone-- didn't explain anything. I know one woman thought I got a DUI, which I found hilarious because I don't even drink! Eventually as the months have worn on I'm more comfortable with the news myself. Usually when the topic comes up as to where my car is, I just smile very politely and explain, "I've had some health issues and I can't drive at the moment, but you know, everyone has been so wonderful and supportive that it has made things so much easier for me!" and I have never had ANYONE get pushy with me at all wnting to pester me with questions or be intrusive. In fact, just the opposite. I have had numerous people offer to give me rides or have me call them if I ever need a ride. Tell people what you are comfortable with, and never feel obligated to tell anyone what you are uncomfortable with. It is no one's business but your own unless you want to share.