Epilepsy: Relationship & Independence

it's clear he can't be your support system (and he may think he is just that although you clearly don't think so) so please look into ways you can structure your life to have real support (if his behavior is recent you may be able to break recent behaviors but recognize for him the behaviors aren't negative) - local epilepsy foundation affiliate have a support group or recommendations? does your neurologist or primary care doc have resource recommendations? online can get you part of the way there, you probably still need some on the ground resources. people who love others with possibly controllable conditions can over compensate. it doesn't usually end well because nagging/controlling you is how they manage their anxiety/fear. is fear/anxiety ever satisfied? well, perhaps. if they don't see they have a problem and get separate help, there's no viable option for you. if parents do this, kids will eventually leave home and the parent may decide to change but there are a lot of stories where the parent doesn't change.

I think one of the most frustrating parts of living with epilepsy is feeling a lack of control in certain situations. But you know more than anyone else what your limitations need to be (if any) and your loved ones should respect that. I don't know anything about this guy, but one thing I wonder is- is he like this solely because of your epilepsy and just really struggles with not worrying about you? Or does his personality reflect someone who would maybe be controlling in the relationship even if you didn't have seizures, it would just be about something else? If it is the first, then maybe sitting down and really telling him how you feel and what things need to change would really work. I think even having a counselor as a neutral party may be an excellent help. But, if you think this may be more reflective on his personality in general, it may be a bigger decision to make. I know I have personally had some tough conversations with people around me about letting me live my own life. The epileptologist I've had for years is the head honcho of this clinic and research for epilepsy in general. He has always made it a priority to validate my right to live my life how I want to, and helps to meet me halfway. Since I was a teenager he has made sure I've understood that I have the right to live a healthy, normal life. So feel confident in telling him that. A healthy relationship can't feel like one is always the caregiver, there needs to be a balance. Good luck!!!

He loves you. That's not being overbearing