My family is falling apart - Please help

Hi, my mom has epilepsy and for the past 5 years or so, she's been put on an assortment of meds.  Her memory is getting worse to where she can't remember what she did the day before or sometimes 20 minutes ago.  The meds make her dizzy, confused, fatigued and she sees double at times.  Needless to say i want her meds reduced dramatically.  Here's the problem though, when she forgets things it is very frustrating to me, my father and sister.  we try to keep our cool because we know she's going to get upset that she can't remember things.  But inevitably, she does get upset and the rest of us feel horrible.  it's a vicious cycle.

 But I wish she would do something though about her illness.  She sits around the house all day and does nothing but read the paper (over and over) and clean the same parts of the house.  I've bought her books with word puzzles and the such to try to help her but she doesn't use them.  she can't work or drive, and my father has recently had to give up his job to stay home with her.  so therefore we have no income, (hoping that disability kicks in soon) and my sister and i, as much as we would love to move out, fear that doing so would drive my parents to divorce and my mom to be alone.  they don't even talk anymore.  i don't know what to do anymore. 

how do i encourage my mom to attempt to get better?  what can she do?  how do i prevent my father from a heart attack because he's trying to take care of everyone and tells me he feels like a failure?  are there any support groups in essex county, nj?

any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. 

-sam