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Family Impact

Mon, 03/02/2009 - 22:47
So I have a question. I am having more and more of the big seizures (grand mals or whatever people are calling them these days). I am having them about 1 a month. I am 20, in college, living on my own in a house i am remodeling, I have a job and I am happy. After my last seizure, my mom came and got me. Then, she planned all these other Dr. Appts for me, the only problem is I already left my co-workers out to dry last night when I had the seizure and I am not about to do it again. I need like a few hours of notice. Now, my mom is hysterically crying and saying I don't care about my life and that i'm gonna die. What do you guys think? What should I do? I don't want my mom to control my life but I'm 20 and I want to do my own thing without being rude. Oh by the way, I am my mom's first child. Thanks. Anna

Comments

Re: Family Impact

Submitted by rikk on Mon, 2009-03-02 - 23:25

hi anna,  parents point of view, and patient point of view.  I hope that will be of help.  parents wants complete control. (they say that is not the case) It is.  They want you to be safe.  You want to have your life your way.  understandable.   the solution is in the details.  maybe the doctor appointments would not be a bad idea, if it is worked around your work schedule.  it may mean changing medications.  That would give some for your mom.  What you get is giving respect and validating the worry, but at the same time insisting on your independence.  you can also give them some comfort that you will call them if you have a problem.  That is the polite way.  You are still allowed to have your own life.  That said make smart decisions.  From the way you write i would say that you have the ability to do so.  I have to deal with a similar problem.  Only it is my wife that wants complete control.  compromise on somethings.  my life, my way.  my decision, my responsibility.

hope it helps.  rikk

hi anna,  parents point of view, and patient point of view.  I hope that will be of help.  parents wants complete control. (they say that is not the case) It is.  They want you to be safe.  You want to have your life your way.  understandable.   the solution is in the details.  maybe the doctor appointments would not be a bad idea, if it is worked around your work schedule.  it may mean changing medications.  That would give some for your mom.  What you get is giving respect and validating the worry, but at the same time insisting on your independence.  you can also give them some comfort that you will call them if you have a problem.  That is the polite way.  You are still allowed to have your own life.  That said make smart decisions.  From the way you write i would say that you have the ability to do so.  I have to deal with a similar problem.  Only it is my wife that wants complete control.  compromise on somethings.  my life, my way.  my decision, my responsibility.

hope it helps.  rikk

Re: Family Impact

Submitted by Amazon on Fri, 2009-03-27 - 04:27
Great advice. i hope it helps. for me too.

Re: Family Impact

Submitted by rachels_mom on Wed, 2009-03-04 - 12:21

Hi!

I'm so sorry about the increase in seizures lately! As the parent of a teen with epilepsy, what you're describing is one of things that concerns me about Rachel being independent in just a few years.

I know it's going to be hard to make that break with her, and the worry will always be there. If you know that you are taking your meds the way you should, and making sure you get enough sleep, etc. then I would say a trip to the neuro is definitely in order.

I agree that you should try and make appts. around the other responsibilities in your life, but I also think that managing your epilepsy should be a top priority. The sooner you can regain control, the better your quality of life, and the less your Mom has to worry (and nag) about.:) 

Kelly-Mom to 14 year old artist, and Invader Zim fangrrl, Rachel. Rachel has partial seizures, with sec. generalization. She takes Keppra and Trileptal, has a VNS, and is on the LGIT.

Hi!

I'm so sorry about the increase in seizures lately! As the parent of a teen with epilepsy, what you're describing is one of things that concerns me about Rachel being independent in just a few years.

I know it's going to be hard to make that break with her, and the worry will always be there. If you know that you are taking your meds the way you should, and making sure you get enough sleep, etc. then I would say a trip to the neuro is definitely in order.

I agree that you should try and make appts. around the other responsibilities in your life, but I also think that managing your epilepsy should be a top priority. The sooner you can regain control, the better your quality of life, and the less your Mom has to worry (and nag) about.:) 

Kelly-Mom to 14 year old artist, and Invader Zim fangrrl, Rachel. Rachel has partial seizures, with sec. generalization. She takes Keppra and Trileptal, has a VNS, and is on the LGIT.

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