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Am I overreacting?
Thu, 06/13/2013 - 16:28Topic: Family & Friends
Due to my seizures, I'm not able to drive. My husband has passed away so
I don't have any transportation. I have 2 sisters. Sister 2 called and
asked me to go with her and sister 1 to get sister 1's hearing checked.
She thought I could help persuade sister 1 in getting a hearing aid.
Sister 1 lives within walking distance of me but, you can't see her
house from mine and it is uphill. She told me to meet her at this
sister's house. She wants me to help but it's too much trouble to drive
on down here and pick me up. Everytime she picks up sister 1 and asks me
to go with them, she wants me to walk up there and meet her. Just a few
months ago, I had broken my wrist and could only use one hand. The
family was having an Easter dinner and everyone carries food. She asked
me to go with them but I was to walk up to sister 1's house carrying my
food with one hand. If I say anything to her, she is going to do it then
but I don't want her picking me up if it's too much trouble. She makes
me feel like I am a bother to her and I don't want to be any trouble for
anyone but I'm tired of her making me feel this way. Am I wrong to feel this way? How would it make you feel?
Comments
Re: Am I overreacting?
Submitted by Kathy781 on Fri, 2013-06-14 - 11:32
She knew what I was carrying. I had purchased some potato salad at the grocery store and she knew it. That's all I was carrying but it was a big bowl and it wouldn't have been easy to care with one hand. I wouldn't ask anyone to do that with two good hands! I had a seizure and that is how I broke my wrist. This is the type of person that if I hadn't carried a dish, she would have said in a tone that I have learned not to appreicate, "Where is your dish?". My husband had always said, she is like Jekly and Hyde and I believe him. He knew what he was talking about. To other people, she is so sweet but they don't see the side I see. Thanks everyone for your comments! You have made me feel better. I thought if I discussed it with people like me, you would understand. Thanks again!!!!
Re: Am I overreacting?
Submitted by tcameron on Fri, 2013-06-14 - 01:12
I would feel the same as you do. The problem is that some people just don't get it when it comes to epilepsy. The only burden is that you broke your wrist. This can happen to anyone. It had nothing to do with your seizures, but they act like they understand. They act like they have your best interest in mind, but they don't. You need to stand strong to them. If you can't, such a broken wrist, its time to take a break from the family so you don't seem like you're a burden to them. Its tough, but unfortnately, the stigma is too great.
Re: Am I overreacting?
Submitted by Masterjen on Thu, 2013-06-13 - 18:26
If the hill is steep, you have physical disabilitles or impairments, or physical exertion is a seizure trigger for you, then definitely you are not over-reacting. I won't even get into the part about not picking you up when you had a broken wrist - unless they were thinking you would have been able to put your dish into a carry-all type of bag that is easy to carry. Maybe they were thinking that since you were able to make the dish with one good hand, you'd then be able to carry it. Also,because you had only one good hand to use, are you sure you were even expected to make a dish this time??
Even though it may seem obvious to us, others may not get it. Take the time to explain to them how difficult walking the hill is for you, don't assume they should know. And if you've explained it before, explain it again. When dealing with family and friends, no one tries to be intentionally mean. Thoughtless, perhaps, in the sense that they are not thinking beyond what is convenient and easier for them, but not mean.
If the hill is steep, you have physical disabilitles or impairments, or physical exertion is a seizure trigger for you, then definitely you are not over-reacting. I won't even get into the part about not picking you up when you had a broken wrist - unless they were thinking you would have been able to put your dish into a carry-all type of bag that is easy to carry. Maybe they were thinking that since you were able to make the dish with one good hand, you'd then be able to carry it. Also,because you had only one good hand to use, are you sure you were even expected to make a dish this time??
Even though it may seem obvious to us, others may not get it. Take the time to explain to them how difficult walking the hill is for you, don't assume they should know. And if you've explained it before, explain it again. When dealing with family and friends, no one tries to be intentionally mean. Thoughtless, perhaps, in the sense that they are not thinking beyond what is convenient and easier for them, but not mean.