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Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Mon, 11/02/2009 - 02:35
My boyfriend has epilepsy..He has grand mals..He has had epilepsy since he was 18..and now hes 31. From being on Depakote from the start he is finally off of it and weaned from KEPPRA to Lamictal now...For the past 2 yrs we have been together intimacy and affection has been a issue...This is all new for me so when it comes to only kissing or being intimate 1x a month or so it is affecting our relationship. He is now taking 900 mg of Lamictal per day (500 mg morning and 400 at nite). His seizures are controlled and hasnt had any since May 2009. At one point when he was prev on Lamictal before his last seizure affection wasnt an issue for 1 week but then it went back to his normal routine.. When it comes to affection, cuddling and holding hands is the extent of it..Its hard for him to even show his emotions or do nice things for me....He has his moments but it seems like his epilepsy has played a huge part of the problem...I cant handle it anymore and need to know if there are any suggestions from anyone who has experienced the same situation from Lamicatal or the epilepsy itself? I have been supportive but it is so hard for him to be affectionate and kiss me or be any more affectionate like a normal couple would be in a relationship.. When we are affectionate he has no problems whatsoever...but meanwhile he just is never in the mood..Even if i kiss him hes just not into anything... It seems like the only time he can be the way i want is when he has a few drinks in him which i know is not good as he could have a seizure...His neurologist prescribed him Lexapro to help get his mind off the BS in life to maybe help but all it has done his mellow him out and all..His testosterone is normal as he was tested for low testosterone and dont know what else can be done... Any advice or input would greatly help as we are trying to get past this issue and have a positive future....Advice on medications, or any other type of methods that can help with this problem.. Thanks..

Comments

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by adamssa@uwec.edu on Tue, 2010-01-05 - 01:19
Hi. Epilepsy is probably not the issue here. It doesn't really have a psychological profile that goes along with it. Maybe he is depressed b.c or not b.c. of it, because that can make people not want to have sex. Or he just could have issues with it in general, which kind of seems more likely. It seems like it's really affecting things, so you might want to look into talking to a therapist about it. He could talk to one, or you could go to one together.

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by sally richards on Tue, 2010-02-02 - 09:02
Hi. I have always been a very intimate and eeffectionate participant in my relationship.  After my E. started last year (post tumor removal) I was put on Keppra and between the two My drive just disapeared... nothing.  I stoped every kind of contact, from holding hands to kissing to just a warm passing toach.  Like I am a different person.  I have left the love of my life feeling abandoned and isolated, undesired amd rejected.  all aftewr they have done so much for me.  A neuro-psych counselor has helped us to understand that it is the E and the Meds and how to compinsate.  It is a long road ahead but you must persavier.  good luck sal

Re: Affection & Intimacy with Epilepsy

Submitted by maymae on Tue, 2010-02-02 - 20:18

I have a low sex drive and and problem with showing intamacy. We have sex maybe 1 a month. I always thought that it was him. But after reading this forum, I am beginning to think twice. I do take 3 high doses of AED's. We have been married for 12 years, so I thought it to be a normal thing. But in the back of my mind I keep thinking to myself, a 36 yo should not be avoiding sex. 

I have a low sex drive and and problem with showing intamacy. We have sex maybe 1 a month. I always thought that it was him. But after reading this forum, I am beginning to think twice. I do take 3 high doses of AED's. We have been married for 12 years, so I thought it to be a normal thing. But in the back of my mind I keep thinking to myself, a 36 yo should not be avoiding sex. 

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