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Adult child of a parent with epilepsy

Mon, 03/07/2011 - 11:38

Hello,

I am 32 and my mom has had epilepsy since right before I was born. My mom has always struggled with short term memory loss and as the oldest sibling I often had to take care of things like lunch money and soccer practice for my much younger siblings. I have always accepted these small differences in our family with little effort, but things are changing. 

In the past 2 or 3 years my mom's ability to effectively understand the social and emotional interactions of her family has significantly declined. She's only 54 but is like a 90 year old who can't hear what's going on in the room but wants to be a part of it. She has lost confidence in herself and is no longer comfortable spending time with anyone. I am losing my mom piece by piece and I am so mad about it!!!!!

Intellectually, I have understood what my mom has been facing  but I am beginning to face everything in a new emotional way that is very painful. My mom has always been brave, adventurous and willing to try anything. She is not the same person and I grieve that my future children will never know her because of this stupid illness. I grieve that my brother's wife will never really know her mother-in-law. I grieve that my father has to see my mother's personality taken away one small bit at a time for years. I grieve for his loneliness. Mostly, I grieve for my mom who feels that she is slowly dying in the most horrible way.

Our family has always been positive about epilepsy, kept to a strict sleep schedule, maintained a great diet, but we can't positively think it away anymore. How do I grieve for the parts of my mom that are gone and still enjoy her as she is now? I am so pissed off!!!!!!

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