I have had complex partial seizures for almost a decade now, and what seems to happen every time for me is terror. It feels like I am inside an airplane that has suddenly just started plummeting toward the earth. It is paradoxical, and the feelings of deja vu create false absurd meaning out of random stimuli, like whatever is in front of my face has some nonsensical meaning. I lose track of reality and am lost in a dark non-reality for what feels like forever...I have no sense of the outside world anymore, so every seizure feels like it is going to last an eternity. There is no voice saying "this shall pass;" I just think I am lost and doomed forever. I feel like I am about to leave this world and go away to be dead forever, and this is the feeling every time, and it has now been thousands of times. People talk about their complex partial seizures on here, but I don't hear everyone talking about sheer horror, so I'm wondering if I'm the only one who has this during a seizure. It makes epilepsy a living hell for me not just because of the public embarrassment, but because the seizure itself is a living hell, even if I have one all alone in my apartment with nobody looking. I am now developing panic symptoms and can't live on my own any more because I'm too afraid to be by myself.