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How do you cope, how do you let it not consume your life?

Thu, 10/18/2007 - 20:34
I've been having seizures for apparently years now, but found out when I had my first grand mal in July, at first I didn't really understand how serious it was, and just thought my mom was being overprotective(My curfew was earlier, I had to check in more, she always had to know where I was) But as soon as the doctor said that I had it, it kinda hit me this is long term, and the new medicines, and just coping have been making me just vulnerable and upset, apparently I might have developed a panic disorder as well? I still hope that I will walk in and they will tell me I am normal, but I know that it won't happen, and even if it did, I've let it consume me... I have started avoiding people, become more angry, and just so isolated, I've talked to my friends about it, they say it gets easier, things will be different, but they are just guessing, they know as much as I do, and I know close to nothing, some of my friends have reacted negatively, which broke my heart, I've spent the last two years of my life trying to get it together, and now I've locked myself up again.. I go out, but I can't run, I am too spacey, and I have to act happy which makes more irritable, I'm just not stable, and I don't find it fair to be around the people I love and make them watch this, I dunno, I thought one of my best friends died today, and I realized how much this is affecting me, why did this have to happen, I'm 15, life has just begun yet I get to start my day at 6:30 EVERY morning so I can take my medicine, I get to ditch my friends if I am invited or am up to going out at 6:30 PM to take more, I dunno I tried to pull this whole thing off as cool with my friends, but I'm just so alone right now its so hard, I don't have that right to bring this on my friends, yet I continue to because I can't be alone, they are trying hard to help me, but the more they do, the more it hurts

Comments

Re: How do you cope, how do you let it not consume your life?

Submitted by Incognito on Thu, 2007-10-18 - 20:58
turn on accepting e-mails in your profile so we can chat

Re: Re: How do you cope, how do you let it not consume your life

Submitted by Mel hates JME on Fri, 2007-10-19 - 13:38
Ok =)

Re: How do you cope, how do you let it not consume your life?

Submitted by EarthMonkey on Thu, 2007-10-18 - 21:05
One thing I did as a teen who had to take medication was carry a small bottle with a couple doses in it with me where ever I went. That way I didn't have to ditch my friends or just go home. You might ask your mom if you could do that. You could even agree to call her and tell her you have taken your medication.

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