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Need help very badly, please!
Mon, 10/07/2013 - 17:47 Let me start by saying that neither I, nor my husband have epilepsy. neither of us had ever had a seizure before 2days ago, so I apologize if I am posting in the wrong place, but I need help. 2 days ago, my husband had a bad reaction to the prescription drug, tramadol. he had a tonic-clonic seizure right next to me in our bed while we were watching tv. it was absolutely the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I can't still hear the noises he made. the images of his body seizing and his eyes rolling in the back of his head will not leave my mind. Within 20 minutes after having the seizure, he was 100% back to normal, besides being a little stunned by what I explained to him had happened. and since then, he's been totally fine, back to normal. no headaches. no cloudy, fatigued feeling. no muscle aches. nothing! but I have been a hot mess to say the least. I'm driving him crazy because I've been following him around like a puppy dog, afraid to ever leave him alone because I'm scared that he'll have another one when he's standing and I want to catch him if he does. I even made him let me stay in the bathroom while he took a shower last night. he doesn't understand what I witnessed, because he doesn't remember it. I'm constantly crying. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I feel incredibly paranoid, not just about his seizure but about everything. I just have General, intense feeling of impending doom. I don't know how to get over this. he's no longer taking the tramadol, so intellectually I know that he's not gonna have another one, but that isn't stopping me from feeling this way. Will I ever be ok? will I ever recover? will I ever be normal and carefree again? I don't know how long I can live like this, in constant fear and panic. I just feel so lost. does anybody have any advice as to how I can pull myself out of this? or at least any encouragement that is will subside eventually?? I'm desperate...
Re: Need help very badly, please!
Submitted by wellsmegan on Wed, 2013-10-09 - 20:51
Thank you for sharing you sorry with me. I have so much respect for your boyfriend for being strong enough to witness someone he loves go thru that so often. I'm not really sure I would be emotionally capable of witnessing my husband do what he did even a second time. I guess if faced with that situation, I wouldn't have a choice but boy, it would be difficult for me for sure. It's so hard to witness how violent they appear to be but forcing yourself to remember that the seizure itself will not hurt you permanently (at least not that I've read about). I am a medical professional ( Medical Assistant) but I worked mainly in pediatrics, so I've never had much experience with seizures except for what I learned about them in school. Because of my schooling, I knew what to do when I recognized that he was in fact having a seizure, but I did it hysterically and probably scared him more than he scared me when he first woke up in confusion with a strange, hysterically crying woman over the top of him screaming, "Omg you had a seizure! are you ok!?" I was a hot mess to say the least. after I read up on Auras, I asked my husband about them. I showed him all the different auras that I read about but it seems as though he did not experience any auras. He says that he felt completely fine and only remembers watching tv in bed, and the next thing he knew he was in my lap and I was crying and asking him questions. He had no recollection of any of it and said he has absolutely no feeling of ill will or anything strange before it happened. That's almost more scary, to think that it can happen with absolutely zero warning. You can be fine one minute, and on the floor having a seizure the next. That's just terrifying to me. I've never had a seizure (neither had my husband), but after this experience, I've found myself having unexplained paranoia of having one myself. I've caught myself doing things ( especially taking a shower or driving) and thinking to myself, " if I had a seizure right now, where would I fall and how badly would I hurt myself?" And I've also had fear of the thought of having a seizure in front of my children ( I'm now a stay at home mom/wife with 4 kids. ages 9, 6, 3 and 2). I know that those paranoias are completely unwarranted and over dramatic, and I'm hoping they fade with the fear I have about my husband having another one. Again, thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I will keep you and your boyfriend in my thoughts :)