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Need help very badly, please!
Mon, 10/07/2013 - 17:47 Let me start by saying that neither I, nor my husband have epilepsy. neither of us had ever had a seizure before 2days ago, so I apologize if I am posting in the wrong place, but I need help. 2 days ago, my husband had a bad reaction to the prescription drug, tramadol. he had a tonic-clonic seizure right next to me in our bed while we were watching tv. it was absolutely the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I can't still hear the noises he made. the images of his body seizing and his eyes rolling in the back of his head will not leave my mind. Within 20 minutes after having the seizure, he was 100% back to normal, besides being a little stunned by what I explained to him had happened. and since then, he's been totally fine, back to normal. no headaches. no cloudy, fatigued feeling. no muscle aches. nothing! but I have been a hot mess to say the least. I'm driving him crazy because I've been following him around like a puppy dog, afraid to ever leave him alone because I'm scared that he'll have another one when he's standing and I want to catch him if he does. I even made him let me stay in the bathroom while he took a shower last night. he doesn't understand what I witnessed, because he doesn't remember it. I'm constantly crying. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I feel incredibly paranoid, not just about his seizure but about everything. I just have General, intense feeling of impending doom. I don't know how to get over this. he's no longer taking the tramadol, so intellectually I know that he's not gonna have another one, but that isn't stopping me from feeling this way. Will I ever be ok? will I ever recover? will I ever be normal and carefree again? I don't know how long I can live like this, in constant fear and panic. I just feel so lost. does anybody have any advice as to how I can pull myself out of this? or at least any encouragement that is will subside eventually?? I'm desperate...
Comments
Re: Need help very badly, please!
Submitted by Lenaorrick on Mon, 2013-10-07 - 22:50
It really meant a lot to read your post. I am sorry that you had to watch your husband go through a seizure belive me I know they are not fun. I hope you never have to witness something like that again. I am glad that this has brought you epilepsy awareness. Many people do not understand anything about epilepsy. I will be wearing purple with you on the 26th!!
Re: Need help very badly, please!
Submitted by wellsmegan on Mon, 2013-10-07 - 23:00
Thank you very much. I think it effected me so much because, not knowing anything about seizures, when I witnessed him having a seizure, it was the first time that I've ever been faced with the thought of not having him anymore. I thought he was going to die as he was laying there in my lap. and all I could think about were our 4 children and how in the world I would tell them that their dad is gone. I've just never experienced anything like that before and I'm actually almost jealous of him because he doesn't remember it. he doesn't have to live with the aftermath that I am living with. I pulled up a video of an epileptic in a hospital having a seizure and I showed it to him so that he could see what I witnessed, and he was genuinely shocked and just kept apologizing for me having to witness that by myself, so he is starting to understand more of why I am so affected by this. Thank you again for your response.
Re: Need help very badly, please!
Submitted by wellsmegan on Mon, 2013-10-07 - 22:11
you guys are absolutely right, and now I feel horrible for even posting this. I didn't even consider the thought that people reading this would probably love to be in the situation that I or my husband is in. I apologize. it's just something that I've never experienced before and it caught me completely off guard. I feel incredibly lucky that neither of us have epilepsy, because I honestly don't know if I could ever witness my husband have another seizure without completely losing it to stress and anxiety. I admit, I was one of those people who knew nothing of epilepsy, because it's never effected anyone I know. I see now that that was ignorant of me, to think that something like that would never happen to someone I love, or myself. in the last 2 days, I've done more research on seizures and epilepsy than I can even fit into my brain anymore and I can't imagine going thru what all of you go thru on a daily basis. I would not bea strong. I apologize if I offended anyone with this trivial post, but thank you for responding anyway. if nothing else, just being able to vent really helped me. and you can bet that I will be wearing purple on the 26th. if anything good came out of this situation, it brought me awareness of epilepsy. good luck and God bless all of you. I will keep you all and your recoveries in my prayers.