Epilepsy and Memory Loss

I had a tough time in J.C.  It took 10 years to get an AA degree in General Ed.  I have a learning disability, compounded by the Dilantin I take.  (I'm also taking 3 other AEDs.) My memory is so bad I can't finsih college.  I have no idea what type of job I could ever get in the outside world with no memory of my past.  I dont' even remember the Rolling Stones concert I went to about 30 years ago.  Okay, that was a long time ago, but come on...This was my favorite rock group at the time.  I am afraid my family will decide to put me in a nursing home so they won't need to worry about me.  Out of sight, out of mind.  I'm certain I'll get early dementia because I was too stupid and vain to wear a helmet until 2 years ago.  I'd fall on concrete, hit my head, break my nose, or whatever.  I'd usually leave a pile of blood wherever I was, but I refused to get that helmet.  Now, it's probably not going to make much of a difference.  I don't remember a lot of things anymore.   My learning disability was diagnosed after my neuro psychologic test.  It's pretty bad, and I feel totally stupid.  I have more than 3 seizures/month (what's required to be on disability) and can't seem to get down to only one month without a seizure.  I'd like to know what the outside world feels like again.  Seriously, I have no idea what it is like to work in an office or do anything that could help me with my career....as what?  I can't even figure out what to do, since everything seems to take a B.S. degree to get anything anymore.   Have any of you felt like you're going to lose your independence because a family member might put you away in a nursing home?  I remember my Grandma!  Almost no one visited her!  It broke my heart...I wanted to visit her more often, but couldn't because of this stupid epilepsy.  It's going to happen to me.  I'd rather die young than live like that.  I've seen too many nursing homes to know that this is common for people with dementia...most often Alzheimer's.  It's frightening!  At least I'm only losing long-term memory.  I've got to give my medical power of attorney to someone I can trust...and my family isn't it!   Does anyone else not trust their families because of memory loss?  I need to turn over my medical power-of attorney, so no one can do that to me.  I've also peed in bed.  The first time, my boyfriend was furious with me!  I had such a horrible headache, I couldn't tell what was happening.  I felt that bad for over 24 hours, then I felt better.  He understands now, but of course, it's an imposition, which is why I wear the pads.  I've only needed it 6 times; but that's 6 too many!  I also make sure to try to pee as often as possible, in case I have a seizure during the day.  It happens, part of having a seizure with a full bladder.  It sure helps to wake up at 2:00 AM, get to the bathroom, and slip back into bed.  No problem getting back to sleep, 'cause I've made it a habit.