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Anxiety attacks or simple partial seizures and dejavu??
Wed, 09/28/2011 - 06:17Hey there,
I can't believe I'm typing this out because to everyone I've ever spoken to looks at me like i'm crackers.
My name is Anna, I'm 27 years old. I have a loving family, great group of friends, have no past traumatic experiences, no head injuries. I am a very sensitive girl.
This all sort of kicked off when I was 22, I started feeling very anxious about situations, I'd get terribly worked up and stressed about it. A lot down to sistuations I was in at the tiem. I was in my 2nd year at Uni, wasn't doing so well, was homesick and had awful living situations with the people I was living with causing me nothing but hassle and worry. I soon started having these episodes. Now, I cant pin down when exactly it started but I know it carried on. I'd go into a daze, a rush of fear would sweep over me and a feeling like nothing ever before and then this hideous feeling of de javu would come on me. I couldn't speak properly, if in conversation whatever someone was saying would feel like i'd heard it before, or if watching TV I'd heard it before. I couldn't even get the words out to say " give me a moment" whether that was sheer embarrassment of this thing I was experiencing I couldnt understand I'm not sure. If I did speak (i.e. to my boyfriend who knows) he'd tell me after I'd made no sense. Then poof it was over in seconds, but what I was thinking? Not a clue... but each time I had an episode it was all so familiar. I'd sometimes dream about them, thus causing the feeling in my sleep.
Now, i've always been a deep thinker (my worst arch enemy), and I do have the best memory ever, but the fact I couldn't remember this de javu I kept experiencing bothered me. I wouldn't let it drop so kept trying to remember, and then i'd have more. I was stressed and anxcious about it, and about having another one...which in turn caused another. I went to the doctors who tried to throw pills at me saying I was depressed, but even though I felt low for the fact I couldnt epxlain what was happening, I certainly didnt think I was depressed. I was sent to councelling sessions who tried to dig deep in my past and find out what I was holding back. Making me over anyalize old situatuions wondering if they triggered all this, and the de javu was something I wanted to remember but couldnt. It was crap because Ive got no demons in my closet! Others said it was anxiety attacks... So I just manned up and dealt. I looked at anxiety free diets. I cut out caffiene, I hardly drink, I try to eat fresh and organic foods. And when I get the surge that I might get one I change my activity or distract myself. However, there are the big ones when I cant. I was doing a half marathon on Sunday and at about mile 9, in the heat ( i had drank lots...maybe not enough?) the feeling came over me. I had no way to distract myself because it was me alone running a race! I tried to keep running and hope it would brush over me... but it didnt. De Javu. However, i've learnt to get myself out of them by saying everything is okay and it goes. i cant even tell you what I thought of other than it was that same feeling. I taste odd tastes, I think a smell too? I swallow alot and suddenly get very hot in the face and sweaty (could of been more about the running this time)
It leaves me feeling upset with myself for days after. Not because of the experience but the fact I cant control them and that no one understands, me included. My family are supportive but I think they're getting bored of hearing about it. I'm so worried about pushing my boyfriend away with this as well, we've been together 4 years now and I dont wnat to be that mental girl hes with.
I dont know if this is any help but I was a late developer, I didnt start my periods until I was about 18/19 and then wouldn't have them regular at all... i'd go 6 months, 3 months, 5 weeks etc. Only a few months ago after tests have I been told that I have PCOS. Even though I have PCOS I had tests but my hormonal balance came back fine?! (still dont understand how that works!)I've read this could be linked with simple partial seizures. Which, I guess does make sense because I didnt start periods until later then once i'd got into a pattern these episodes happened. I have just started taking the Pill, which has leveled periods out but ive had more episodes since being on it than not. I have taken the pill in the past and the one before made it worse.
I'm not sure but I'm feeling really alone with it all.
I dont think I help myself sometimes though, because I'm constantly worried about having one which makes me so tense and nervous about experiencing it again.... which could egg one on.
Is this a simple partial seizure or is it just anxiety?
Any advice would be great. I've booked a doctors visit next week.
xxx
Comments
Re: Anxiety attacks or simple partial seizures and dejavu??
Submitted by aggy84 on Wed, 2011-09-28 - 09:48
Wow Angela, thank you so much for coming back to me.
I had attacks around the time I first started birth control pills when I was 22. I then stopped them, then started them again. Then stopped. Recently started again on Yasmin. However, this last time is only due to finally finding out I had PCOS.
What a pain hey?! And only one of my ovaries is PCOS, the other is fine apparently! I must admit Ive felt more edgy since going back on them. However, not to the extent of before. I keep saying to myself its physcological and that I keep imagining it all because of taking this birth control stuff.
Do you think if I come off I'll go back to normal? I have had a year or so off before and still had these episodes or attacks as I call them... especially just before and when I'm on. I really hate being a female sometimes!I feel constantly worried about having another one which I cant imagine helps. My boyfriend has been present when I've had one and he has just sat me down, held my hand and tried to calm me down. He said I talk jibberish and make no sense when I talk (if I do), they really frighten me because I dont remember what I'm thinking about. Ive tried to warn my boyfriend (if hes present) before as I can feel them coming on but I do try my hardest to divert my attention to avoid one. The fact I sometimes can divert them makes me wonder if it is partial seizures or not?
Yeah, I'm 100% seeing my doctor first then hopefully she will refer me. my whole family think i'm the 'wet' one and that i'm the over thinker thats imagining things. Not the most supportive, even though I know they love me. Ive read your story and seems like youve been through so much. I dont feel fantastic after having one, I beat myself up about it and think about it more which I think encourage another.
I've been so so much better than I used to be but I just want to know, because once I know I can get on and work through it. I'll be less embarrassed too. I dont want to take meds for it really....I want to do this on my own and I know I can... deep down I'm a positive, strong willed, confident girl but its a bit blurred right now.
Thank you so much, because in all the years Ive hunted for an answer ...only since yesterday have I been on to something. I saw two videos on Youtube about girls who suffered the same things I did. I want to get better. I will no doubt be in touch :) xx
Wow Angela, thank you so much for coming back to me.
I had attacks around the time I first started birth control pills when I was 22. I then stopped them, then started them again. Then stopped. Recently started again on Yasmin. However, this last time is only due to finally finding out I had PCOS.
What a pain hey?! And only one of my ovaries is PCOS, the other is fine apparently! I must admit Ive felt more edgy since going back on them. However, not to the extent of before. I keep saying to myself its physcological and that I keep imagining it all because of taking this birth control stuff.
Do you think if I come off I'll go back to normal? I have had a year or so off before and still had these episodes or attacks as I call them... especially just before and when I'm on. I really hate being a female sometimes!I feel constantly worried about having another one which I cant imagine helps. My boyfriend has been present when I've had one and he has just sat me down, held my hand and tried to calm me down. He said I talk jibberish and make no sense when I talk (if I do), they really frighten me because I dont remember what I'm thinking about. Ive tried to warn my boyfriend (if hes present) before as I can feel them coming on but I do try my hardest to divert my attention to avoid one. The fact I sometimes can divert them makes me wonder if it is partial seizures or not?
Yeah, I'm 100% seeing my doctor first then hopefully she will refer me. my whole family think i'm the 'wet' one and that i'm the over thinker thats imagining things. Not the most supportive, even though I know they love me. Ive read your story and seems like youve been through so much. I dont feel fantastic after having one, I beat myself up about it and think about it more which I think encourage another.
I've been so so much better than I used to be but I just want to know, because once I know I can get on and work through it. I'll be less embarrassed too. I dont want to take meds for it really....I want to do this on my own and I know I can... deep down I'm a positive, strong willed, confident girl but its a bit blurred right now.
Thank you so much, because in all the years Ive hunted for an answer ...only since yesterday have I been on to something. I saw two videos on Youtube about girls who suffered the same things I did. I want to get better. I will no doubt be in touch :) xx
Re: Anxiety attacks or simple partial seizures and dejavu??
Submitted by angelacarwile on Wed, 2011-09-28 - 10:48
Oh honey... You sound just like me:( I used to think I was somehow creating this in my mind. If I was creating it, I could control it and make it go away. I was terrified and in denial for so long.
You're not crazy my dear. I can feel mine coming on too. I've learned that with breathing and trying not to freak out, I can talk myself down. You're doing the right thing. It's not psychological, but stress can play a major factor in having these seizures. It's usually the number one trigger. Also, anxiety can run high when we over-think what's happened and "worry" when it will happen again. Luckily, it sounds like you have aura's like me; they let you know when one's coming on. I usually feel like a blood rushing, tingly feeling in my arms, hot flash or even hives. Sometimes I'll even feel like an electric shock or just become confused. Don't be scared or get down on yourself.
You're still as normal as everyone else! Remember, Epilepsy is just a small part of who we are, it doesn't define us. Once you see a Dr and start getting some answers to validate your feelings, things will begin to turn around...I promise!!
I understand not wanting to take the meds, but in my experience they've given me a better quality of life. Don't get me wrong, it took some time getting used to them (that's the worst part), but afterward I started feeling more like me again.
I was so grateful when I found this website. Although I had family support, it wasn’t the same. They couldn’t possibly understand what I was feeling or going through. They’re wonderful, but there’s nothing like having a support group and speaking to others that know exactly what you’re going through. Chin up!!! Talking to people helps. I promise! I remember my first day on the site. I just sat and cried. I finally realized I wasn't crazy and there were people out there who understood.
Bless you sweetie!!! If you need to vent, I'm here. Email me anytime!!!
Oh honey... You sound just like me:( I used to think I was somehow creating this in my mind. If I was creating it, I could control it and make it go away. I was terrified and in denial for so long.
You're not crazy my dear. I can feel mine coming on too. I've learned that with breathing and trying not to freak out, I can talk myself down. You're doing the right thing. It's not psychological, but stress can play a major factor in having these seizures. It's usually the number one trigger. Also, anxiety can run high when we over-think what's happened and "worry" when it will happen again. Luckily, it sounds like you have aura's like me; they let you know when one's coming on. I usually feel like a blood rushing, tingly feeling in my arms, hot flash or even hives. Sometimes I'll even feel like an electric shock or just become confused. Don't be scared or get down on yourself.
You're still as normal as everyone else! Remember, Epilepsy is just a small part of who we are, it doesn't define us. Once you see a Dr and start getting some answers to validate your feelings, things will begin to turn around...I promise!!
I understand not wanting to take the meds, but in my experience they've given me a better quality of life. Don't get me wrong, it took some time getting used to them (that's the worst part), but afterward I started feeling more like me again.
I was so grateful when I found this website. Although I had family support, it wasn’t the same. They couldn’t possibly understand what I was feeling or going through. They’re wonderful, but there’s nothing like having a support group and speaking to others that know exactly what you’re going through. Chin up!!! Talking to people helps. I promise! I remember my first day on the site. I just sat and cried. I finally realized I wasn't crazy and there were people out there who understood.
Bless you sweetie!!! If you need to vent, I'm here. Email me anytime!!!
Re: Anxiety attacks or simple partial seizures and dejavu??
Submitted by angelacarwile on Wed, 2011-09-28 - 09:05
Aggy,
First of all, you're not alone and you're not crazy. What you're describing sound like simple partial seizures. I have these same episodes, moreso in the beginning when I was first diagnosed. I also have PCOS. While being treated for PCOS, my seizures began. I can tell you right now - STOP taking birth control! This will make your seizures worse (PCOS makes our bodies and hormones all wacky. the hormones in BC pills can worsen the effects and cause more seizures). I only say this because the same thing happened to me. After years of hormone therapy, and treatments for PCOS I began to have seizures. Instead of treating my problem, they stuck a bandaid on it. Gynocologists should not treat PCOS. Please make an appt. with an Endocrinologist...believe me, it makes a world of difference.
Unfortunately, I waited too late to stop hormone therapy, the damage was already done. After 2 weeks I began to have the same seizures you describe, along with several other types you may be having and are not aware of.
Dr's say there's no coorelation between PCOS and Epilepsy. I beg to differ. We know our bodies better than anyone. I was perfectly healthy, minus girly issues, until hormone therapy sent my system into reboot, thus causing seizures.
I'm so glad you made an appt. with a Neurologist. Make sure you keep a seizure diary. It can be so hard to explain what's going on during a seizure; how you feel, etc. What I found, is the fact that what I thought was going on was completely different than what actually happened. If you have witnesses to your episodes, have he or she write it down or even go with you to give the Dr a description of the episode. The more information and documentation you have the better. It makes it easier for the Dr to make a specific diagnosis and know what to look for in the EEG/MRI.
SOrry to be so long-winded...It's my thing :) Read my story if you like. I describe many of the same feelings as you. I also had a photographic memory and was/is a very deep thinker. Like I said, you're not alone:)
If you need to talk, email me anytime. Take care sweetie and let us know what the Dr says!
Angela Sanders
Aggy,
First of all, you're not alone and you're not crazy. What you're describing sound like simple partial seizures. I have these same episodes, moreso in the beginning when I was first diagnosed. I also have PCOS. While being treated for PCOS, my seizures began. I can tell you right now - STOP taking birth control! This will make your seizures worse (PCOS makes our bodies and hormones all wacky. the hormones in BC pills can worsen the effects and cause more seizures). I only say this because the same thing happened to me. After years of hormone therapy, and treatments for PCOS I began to have seizures. Instead of treating my problem, they stuck a bandaid on it. Gynocologists should not treat PCOS. Please make an appt. with an Endocrinologist...believe me, it makes a world of difference.
Unfortunately, I waited too late to stop hormone therapy, the damage was already done. After 2 weeks I began to have the same seizures you describe, along with several other types you may be having and are not aware of.
Dr's say there's no coorelation between PCOS and Epilepsy. I beg to differ. We know our bodies better than anyone. I was perfectly healthy, minus girly issues, until hormone therapy sent my system into reboot, thus causing seizures.
I'm so glad you made an appt. with a Neurologist. Make sure you keep a seizure diary. It can be so hard to explain what's going on during a seizure; how you feel, etc. What I found, is the fact that what I thought was going on was completely different than what actually happened. If you have witnesses to your episodes, have he or she write it down or even go with you to give the Dr a description of the episode. The more information and documentation you have the better. It makes it easier for the Dr to make a specific diagnosis and know what to look for in the EEG/MRI.
SOrry to be so long-winded...It's my thing :) Read my story if you like. I describe many of the same feelings as you. I also had a photographic memory and was/is a very deep thinker. Like I said, you're not alone:)
If you need to talk, email me anytime. Take care sweetie and let us know what the Dr says!
Angela Sanders