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"Post-ictal" confusion
Wed, 01/07/2009 - 00:06Hey all,
Most of you don't know me, but, as I stated in my introductory thread, I'm new to all of this (Holy pleonasm, Batman!).
The first time I ever witnessed a seizure was during my video EEG in November. Naturally, I saw quite a number of them over the next few nights.
What has stuck with me wasn't necessarily the seizures themselves. It was the period afterwards. The doctors and nurses would begin asking a series of question to the teenager in the bed next to me. I'm sure some of you are familiar with the routine:
"What's your name?"
"David." He got that one right.
"Do you know where you are?"
"September...19th. Or 20th. I think."
So David was capable of responding to verbal cues, but he wasn't actually able to comprehend them. He knew he was being asked general questions, but he didn't know what he was being asked.
Essentially -- I think -- his brain wasn't really functioning, at least not at anything resembling a normal level for him. While it was in the process of recovering, David's brain had created a limited level of awareness. He wasn't in a seizure state, he wasn't back to normal, he was sort of in the middle somewhere, almost as if it was a survivalistic instinct. His brain had developed a third state.
The mere fact that some of you have gone through this so many times that your brain reacts this way is heart breaking. It was by far the most devastating realization of my four day stay in the hospital.
I hope this is not a breach of etiqutte as, again, I'm new to this and only suffer from absence seizures, but is this what it's really like for a lot of you? What is that recovery period like? How does all of that compare to the seizures themselves?
Re: "Post-ictal" confusion
Submitted by wichitarick1 on Tue, 2011-03-08 - 16:54
peace R.C.
Hi I have changed a lot it seems . I went through a long period of some of the most bizzare feelings I have ever encountered in my life a while back and managed to write down some of it . This was in response to a u-tube video of all thing lol. Some people will understand this and others may be totally freaked out or even scared by it. but a few of the more extreme things a person may feel during a "postictal" state are said here . for what it's worth .
YOU STAY THE HE!! AWAY FROM ME YA HEAR" Thanks I awoke suddenly 2.a.m.? pain? confusion? broken? Medication SUCKS I'd rather be an addict again.breathing color,feeling in reds and yellows,taste? in silver like metal hearing ,blue gray,fading, I would like to SCREAM but then? others will know,burning? cold?afraid to lay down ,haunting dreams,can only smile with eyes closed,pushing,pulling, from the inside,I am pizzing "IT" off,clear but numb,a fishbowl,sleep while standing? HURT? NO, LIFE Rick Another day------
I WILL KEEP MYSELF I WILL FIND A WAY" Awake again,2a.m. COLD,rush of warm,BLOOD ?,dam,quiet,choices? confusion? feeling? grey,ringing in very low tones,911 in a blizzard? wait and find the cuts ,big mess ,broken tables,broken? will the others know I am "broken" pain? LOL ,LIVING in short bursts,how many joints can you dislocate at once? IT pushes me down WHY,WHEN,MAYBE FORGET THIS TIME? clicking sounds dark,blue,green,feelings? flatlined?VERY small mind,closed,peeking out? IT WON'T LEAVE RICK another response....
Almost overwhelming for many we all just wait! can we see IT,I live every day in redemption but when? why the wait? when I peek over the side will? IT pull me IN or or will "IT" push me OVER? "IT' hovers over moves around ,front and back, I smiled and waved "IT" slammed me to the ground, My soul smiles my gate is frozen,I lost my ticket, The more steps I take away from the gate the harder IT pushes me back, REDEMPTION IS? FINE-WAITING IS HE..! Rick another....
To explain seems senseless, but was able to "feel" the sounds the senses so ENHANCED that the waves? became focused confusion. The edge is an odd place ? a date,time SURE, will say goodbye and check in no sweat and lol at "IT" But the unknown is my demon now ? losing time in lg. blocks is something we joke with UNTIL it happens.Is like having a stroke but then recovering 100's of times."IT" pushing? me is why I may be acting diff. "IT" is close lol no sweat ,BUT when ? Rick And another.....
Not sure what brought me here I have managed to lol with this for many yrs and am now have this over whelming feeling of being stuck in the middle, life is a very fine wire to stroll on in a "normal" world as it is ,but? now "IT" pushes me hard sometimes and it HURTS to smile back ? have NEVER gave up or gave in to? anything ,ever ,but with pain,confusion,memory loss the HURT has become reality ,my rambling above was a persons response to seizures,sleepwalking ,sounds HURT Rick
WOW That was last month lol makes a person wonder what this month will be like huh? Be careful .Rick
peace R.C.
Hi I have changed a lot it seems . I went through a long period of some of the most bizzare feelings I have ever encountered in my life a while back and managed to write down some of it . This was in response to a u-tube video of all thing lol. Some people will understand this and others may be totally freaked out or even scared by it. but a few of the more extreme things a person may feel during a "postictal" state are said here . for what it's worth .
YOU STAY THE HE!! AWAY FROM ME YA HEAR" Thanks I awoke suddenly 2.a.m.? pain? confusion? broken? Medication SUCKS I'd rather be an addict again.breathing color,feeling in reds and yellows,taste? in silver like metal hearing ,blue gray,fading, I would like to SCREAM but then? others will know,burning? cold?afraid to lay down ,haunting dreams,can only smile with eyes closed,pushing,pulling, from the inside,I am pizzing "IT" off,clear but numb,a fishbowl,sleep while standing? HURT? NO, LIFE Rick Another day------
I WILL KEEP MYSELF I WILL FIND A WAY" Awake again,2a.m. COLD,rush of warm,BLOOD ?,dam,quiet,choices? confusion? feeling? grey,ringing in very low tones,911 in a blizzard? wait and find the cuts ,big mess ,broken tables,broken? will the others know I am "broken" pain? LOL ,LIVING in short bursts,how many joints can you dislocate at once? IT pushes me down WHY,WHEN,MAYBE FORGET THIS TIME? clicking sounds dark,blue,green,feelings? flatlined?VERY small mind,closed,peeking out? IT WON'T LEAVE RICK another response....
Almost overwhelming for many we all just wait! can we see IT,I live every day in redemption but when? why the wait? when I peek over the side will? IT pull me IN or or will "IT" push me OVER? "IT' hovers over moves around ,front and back, I smiled and waved "IT" slammed me to the ground, My soul smiles my gate is frozen,I lost my ticket, The more steps I take away from the gate the harder IT pushes me back, REDEMPTION IS? FINE-WAITING IS HE..! Rick another....
To explain seems senseless, but was able to "feel" the sounds the senses so ENHANCED that the waves? became focused confusion. The edge is an odd place ? a date,time SURE, will say goodbye and check in no sweat and lol at "IT" But the unknown is my demon now ? losing time in lg. blocks is something we joke with UNTIL it happens.Is like having a stroke but then recovering 100's of times."IT" pushing? me is why I may be acting diff. "IT" is close lol no sweat ,BUT when ? Rick And another.....
Not sure what brought me here I have managed to lol with this for many yrs and am now have this over whelming feeling of being stuck in the middle, life is a very fine wire to stroll on in a "normal" world as it is ,but? now "IT" pushes me hard sometimes and it HURTS to smile back ? have NEVER gave up or gave in to? anything ,ever ,but with pain,confusion,memory loss the HURT has become reality ,my rambling above was a persons response to seizures,sleepwalking ,sounds HURT Rick
WOW That was last month lol makes a person wonder what this month will be like huh? Be careful .Rick