I don't have E., but my wife does. I posted here, instead of family and friends 'cause I wanted the "siezure-haver's" point of view :) When my wife has a gran mal, I try to catch her and help her to the ground in a slow, safe way. I'll keep my hand behind her head to soften the head-banging (while not trying to keep her still. I've learned that apparently makes her muscles sore and does'nt work so well). if space is limited (as E rarely chooses a safe place to happen), I'm likely to loosely hug her, to help "control" her limbs (it'd do noone any good to kick a TV over on ya both). All this time, I'm talking very calmly and comfortingly, in as soothing of a voice that I can muster, saying things like "I got ya." and "It's alright. Everything's okay." This is to alieviate some of my stress (I sometimes cry, I'll admit it.) and stress of anyone else who may be around (911 calls for a gran mal can be really expensive), but mainly to give her an "anchor" to grab on to when she starts to "come back". As I understand it, at least with her, she'll start to become aware again aurally before visually. Okay, so yeah, I've been drooled on every time and pee'd on once, but that's just nature of the beast. I reckon if I cant accept that when it happens, I've no bussiness being married :) I also know the whole "make sure they dont swallow thier tongue" thing is a great way to loose a finger lol.
When a siezure is'nt happening, I do tend to make fun of epilepsy (read: the condition itself, not the having of it or people with it.) I hate the condition, but I respect it. I do this because, TBH, my wife and I have kindof twisted senses of humor, and the ability to laugh at something increases one's ability to deal with it better. My favorite is referring to it as demonic possession :) it's just so ridiculous how can it not be funny? :)
So my question, basically, is to those of you whom have gran mal's: Am I handling them right? Is what I'm doing helpfull? And Is there more I could be doing to ensure my wife is as comfortable as possible?