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Bad Memory, spaciness, and depression.. how should i fix these?

Wed, 08/04/2010 - 22:42
im 17 going onto 18 soon.. the only time i had ever taken a real grand mal seizure in my life was in first grade (thank god). However, I am the spaciest kid alive, as everyone tells me. My memory is completely fried (as people constantly make fun of me for it), my grades have dropped tremendously, i have extreme mood swings, i feel as though i am constantly changing personalities to find out who i am, or to get others to like me (sometimes i swear i have social anxiety). My doctor confirmed that i have depression, as every day is a stuggle and i am constantly, and i mean constantly, hating myself. overall, are these typical side effects of epilepsy? and if so, i dont understand as to why they arent going away with the medication i am taking... i am taking lamotrigene and i can see absolutely no difference... however, when i dont take it, i do get extreme de ja vu, and nausia after.. (which my doctor cant really understand as to why i get these..) Overall, do you think i am forever going to be like this? has seizures officially damaged my brain forever? do you think it would almost be better to switch to an anti-deppresant?

Comments

Re: Bad Memory, spaciness, and depression

Submitted by phylisfjohnson on Thu, 2010-08-05 - 10:38

Ok...let's sart with 1 thing at a time...

DRUGS -- How high a dose of lamotrigene do you take?  The lowest dose is an anti-depressant..the next level is an anti-seizure med...and the highest dose is for bi-polar people.  Perhpas you need to up your dose if you're on a low level.  I take 200MG of lamotrigene in the AM (it made me crazy hyper in the PM!)  I also supplement that with Klonopin (another anti-anxiety, anti-seizure drug) 0.5MG in the AM and 1.00 in the evening.  Plus I take Effexor for clinical depression.

DEPRESSION -- One study stated that 80% of the patients with epilepsy were also diagnosed as having a depressive disorder. Upwards of 60% of these individuals had a history of significant episodes of depression.  And 10-32% experience symptoms of anxiety.   You're NOT alone.

MEMORY --

1. Keep a journal/calendar or an electronic organizer to remind yourself of important appointments, meetings, or occasions or events.  

2. Take you meds at the same time every day – a pill organizer is very helpful.  And put them someplace where they are clearly visible -- your bathroom sink, kitchen table, etc.  Create a daily routine and if you have to take meds in the middle of the day, set the alarm on your watch, clock or cell phone to remind you.

3. Keep a daily diary…one for seizures and one to remember what you did that day.  You might find an interesting correlation between the two.

4. Put your important stuff (like keys, wallet, etc.) in the same place every day. 

5. Don’t forget about “to do” lists.

6. If you want to remember something before going out, stick a Post-It note on the door.  (Actually, I have them everywhere except my forehead!)

7. Keep a notepad with you. Write down things you want to remember.  It worked in school (I've had epilepsy for 40+myears) It worked in school and it still works now.

8. Focus and concentrate.  Skip the multi-tasking, it just leads to brain overload.

9. Minimize distractions.  Start slow.  If you’re learning something new, try repetition before you move on to the next step.

10. If you lose a word in conversation, just say so.  I have no pride.  I say, “I can’t find the word, any ideas?”

11. Use mnemonic strategies to help you remember. For example, try visualization, associating pictures with people’s names, using rhymes to remember important words.  (It works for me wonderfully.  And when I get really desperate, I go through the alphabet!)

12. If you can’t find  something, try not to stress out. The more you try to remember, the less likely you will.  Retrace your thoughts or steps. You’ll figure it out in time.  (Probably at 2:00 in the morning.  That’s why I keep a pad by my bed and a flashlight pen.)

13. When driving, plan ahead.  Try to remember landmarks if it’s someplace familiar. Keep directions in your car.  Look it up on map quest first.  Or get a talking navigator for your car. (That’s been my savior.  Sometimes I can’t even remember the way to my best friend’s house.  And she’s lived there fior 22 years!) If all else fails, stop and get directions and write them down).

14. Challenge yourself.  Keep your mind active.  Learn a new word every day, read, try crossword puzzles, strategic games, scrabble, whatever you find fun.

15. Relax!     Phylis Feiner Johnson www.epilepsytalk.com

Ok...let's sart with 1 thing at a time...

DRUGS -- How high a dose of lamotrigene do you take?  The lowest dose is an anti-depressant..the next level is an anti-seizure med...and the highest dose is for bi-polar people.  Perhpas you need to up your dose if you're on a low level.  I take 200MG of lamotrigene in the AM (it made me crazy hyper in the PM!)  I also supplement that with Klonopin (another anti-anxiety, anti-seizure drug) 0.5MG in the AM and 1.00 in the evening.  Plus I take Effexor for clinical depression.

DEPRESSION -- One study stated that 80% of the patients with epilepsy were also diagnosed as having a depressive disorder. Upwards of 60% of these individuals had a history of significant episodes of depression.  And 10-32% experience symptoms of anxiety.   You're NOT alone.

MEMORY --

1. Keep a journal/calendar or an electronic organizer to remind yourself of important appointments, meetings, or occasions or events.  

2. Take you meds at the same time every day – a pill organizer is very helpful.  And put them someplace where they are clearly visible -- your bathroom sink, kitchen table, etc.  Create a daily routine and if you have to take meds in the middle of the day, set the alarm on your watch, clock or cell phone to remind you.

3. Keep a daily diary…one for seizures and one to remember what you did that day.  You might find an interesting correlation between the two.

4. Put your important stuff (like keys, wallet, etc.) in the same place every day. 

5. Don’t forget about “to do” lists.

6. If you want to remember something before going out, stick a Post-It note on the door.  (Actually, I have them everywhere except my forehead!)

7. Keep a notepad with you. Write down things you want to remember.  It worked in school (I've had epilepsy for 40+myears) It worked in school and it still works now.

8. Focus and concentrate.  Skip the multi-tasking, it just leads to brain overload.

9. Minimize distractions.  Start slow.  If you’re learning something new, try repetition before you move on to the next step.

10. If you lose a word in conversation, just say so.  I have no pride.  I say, “I can’t find the word, any ideas?”

11. Use mnemonic strategies to help you remember. For example, try visualization, associating pictures with people’s names, using rhymes to remember important words.  (It works for me wonderfully.  And when I get really desperate, I go through the alphabet!)

12. If you can’t find  something, try not to stress out. The more you try to remember, the less likely you will.  Retrace your thoughts or steps. You’ll figure it out in time.  (Probably at 2:00 in the morning.  That’s why I keep a pad by my bed and a flashlight pen.)

13. When driving, plan ahead.  Try to remember landmarks if it’s someplace familiar. Keep directions in your car.  Look it up on map quest first.  Or get a talking navigator for your car. (That’s been my savior.  Sometimes I can’t even remember the way to my best friend’s house.  And she’s lived there fior 22 years!) If all else fails, stop and get directions and write them down).

14. Challenge yourself.  Keep your mind active.  Learn a new word every day, read, try crossword puzzles, strategic games, scrabble, whatever you find fun.

15. Relax!     Phylis Feiner Johnson www.epilepsytalk.com

Re: Bad Memory, spaciness, and depression

Submitted by epileptic23 on Sat, 2010-08-07 - 12:18

this was EXTREMELY helpful, really.. yes, im gonna try and see what dosage is (cause i honestly dont know).. and talk to my doctor as to whether it should be higher.. however, im a little confused.. so a low dosage is anti-depressant, while a higher dosage is anti-seizure.. wouldnt it still be an anti-depressant still even though your taking a higher dosage? why would it just completely switch to an anti-seizure.. wouldnt it just be both? &plus, the info you gave at the end was so helpful, in that its nice to know that im not the only one who gets these symptoms.. i cannot thank you enough, i feel as though your long description and response felt like a was talking to my doctor!

i will say though, i have another question.. im curious as to why im experiencing all these symptoms but dont take grand mal seizures? i feel like if im this effected by epilepsy, i should be taking seizures.... is my brain still taking seizures, just not grand mal ones?

this was EXTREMELY helpful, really.. yes, im gonna try and see what dosage is (cause i honestly dont know).. and talk to my doctor as to whether it should be higher.. however, im a little confused.. so a low dosage is anti-depressant, while a higher dosage is anti-seizure.. wouldnt it still be an anti-depressant still even though your taking a higher dosage? why would it just completely switch to an anti-seizure.. wouldnt it just be both? &plus, the info you gave at the end was so helpful, in that its nice to know that im not the only one who gets these symptoms.. i cannot thank you enough, i feel as though your long description and response felt like a was talking to my doctor!

i will say though, i have another question.. im curious as to why im experiencing all these symptoms but dont take grand mal seizures? i feel like if im this effected by epilepsy, i should be taking seizures.... is my brain still taking seizures, just not grand mal ones?

Re: Bad Memory, spaciness, and depression

Submitted by BarbG on Sat, 2010-08-07 - 12:48

epilep,

Don't know that I can answer the last part of your email but I agree the advice on memory tricks was very helpful to me too. I struggle with that now.

I had grandmals from ages 13-17 (and again now at age 46 and 48).  The seizures , side effects and other issues affected my self esteem in a horrible way. I felt like a freak, I hated myself, felt like a defective creature instead of a person who was struggling with a medical issue. I really feel your pain in terms of what you are going through there.  I wish I knew what to say to help you love and accept yourself. It took me many years and a bad marriage (probably due at least in part to not feeling like I deserved a loving partner). I truly hope you don't have to go through that too. Remember that there are a lot of people struggling with physical and other disorders. Just because you don't know about it, it doesn't mean that half of more of your classmates aren't struggling now (or will struggle later) with epilepsy, bipolar, cancer, body image issues etc... the list goes on). Try to remember to give yourself the same kind of compassion you would give to another person who was struggling. Many of us would give way more compassion to a stranger with epilepsy or depression than we would ever give ourselves. Some of our depression issues come with the difficulty dealing with epilepsy and  how we  fear others may perceive us, some may come from the damage from seizures or from side effects of meds and it may be nearly impossible to figure out what part of depression comes from what source...very frustrating.

What helps me is writing down an affirmation (mine is Today will be a great day!) 10 times in the morning. Doesn't make every day great but it helps me to see even a teeny bit of great (pretty cloudless day, a compliment, a funny email, a good grade in something) in every day..Even crappy days often have something good you can find if you are training yourself to look for that...If  you struggle with depression, the straining to look for good can take effort but it is worth it. Positive reading, reducing caffeine (please no Red Bulls), sugar or other foods that trigger seizures or depression in you (you are too young to drink but if you are drinking, keep in mind it takes its toll on your nervous system and depression...I did it too so I can't preach not to, only to be aware of the  price you pay if you do it).  Also I reduce stressful tv shows, news before bedtime and negative friends. It may not work and you may still need an antidepressant, that is a decision for you and your doc. But doing your best to be proactively positive can reduce  your need for extra meds (the more meds, the more danger of interactions, side effects etc...some drugs may be necessary but do what you can naturally to reduce them if you can) and at the very least make the meds you do have to be on, as effective as they can be. But most important. Learn to love yourself. I don't even know you and I love you and feel compassion for your struggle since I have been there. Please write  back and share how you are doing or feel free to "friend" me or say hi if you see me in the chat room. I'm old enough to be your mom but I still care about you and will be sending you positive thoughts!

BarbG

 

epilep,

Don't know that I can answer the last part of your email but I agree the advice on memory tricks was very helpful to me too. I struggle with that now.

I had grandmals from ages 13-17 (and again now at age 46 and 48).  The seizures , side effects and other issues affected my self esteem in a horrible way. I felt like a freak, I hated myself, felt like a defective creature instead of a person who was struggling with a medical issue. I really feel your pain in terms of what you are going through there.  I wish I knew what to say to help you love and accept yourself. It took me many years and a bad marriage (probably due at least in part to not feeling like I deserved a loving partner). I truly hope you don't have to go through that too. Remember that there are a lot of people struggling with physical and other disorders. Just because you don't know about it, it doesn't mean that half of more of your classmates aren't struggling now (or will struggle later) with epilepsy, bipolar, cancer, body image issues etc... the list goes on). Try to remember to give yourself the same kind of compassion you would give to another person who was struggling. Many of us would give way more compassion to a stranger with epilepsy or depression than we would ever give ourselves. Some of our depression issues come with the difficulty dealing with epilepsy and  how we  fear others may perceive us, some may come from the damage from seizures or from side effects of meds and it may be nearly impossible to figure out what part of depression comes from what source...very frustrating.

What helps me is writing down an affirmation (mine is Today will be a great day!) 10 times in the morning. Doesn't make every day great but it helps me to see even a teeny bit of great (pretty cloudless day, a compliment, a funny email, a good grade in something) in every day..Even crappy days often have something good you can find if you are training yourself to look for that...If  you struggle with depression, the straining to look for good can take effort but it is worth it. Positive reading, reducing caffeine (please no Red Bulls), sugar or other foods that trigger seizures or depression in you (you are too young to drink but if you are drinking, keep in mind it takes its toll on your nervous system and depression...I did it too so I can't preach not to, only to be aware of the  price you pay if you do it).  Also I reduce stressful tv shows, news before bedtime and negative friends. It may not work and you may still need an antidepressant, that is a decision for you and your doc. But doing your best to be proactively positive can reduce  your need for extra meds (the more meds, the more danger of interactions, side effects etc...some drugs may be necessary but do what you can naturally to reduce them if you can) and at the very least make the meds you do have to be on, as effective as they can be. But most important. Learn to love yourself. I don't even know you and I love you and feel compassion for your struggle since I have been there. Please write  back and share how you are doing or feel free to "friend" me or say hi if you see me in the chat room. I'm old enough to be your mom but I still care about you and will be sending you positive thoughts!

BarbG

 

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