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terrified to get pregnant
Sat, 09/19/2009 - 11:59Hello,
My name is Linzy and I am 26 years old. I was diagnosed with Absence seizures when I was 23. I have been on a boat load of medications to control them and now I am on Lamictal which has done the best so far. I have been increased recently because of some breakthrough seizures. My husband and I have decided to have a baby and I am terrified for the health of the baby. My doctor told me that Lamictal can cause cleft lip, palate etc., to the fetus and that I cannot breast feed. I take 125mg of lamictal in the morning and at night. I have always dreamed of having children - healthy children. I would love my child no matter what but doesn't everyone want healthy children, free of defects? I have also always dreamed of breast feeding. I was pretty devastated when my doc told me that I wouldn't be able to breast feed my child. I want to be able to have that connection with my baby. I guess I am just hoping for some similar stories and to know that there are people out there who understand where I am coming from and how much of an impact seizures can put on your life even if they are just absence.
UPDATE (May 5, 2011): I thought that I would update this thread :) I am happy to tell you all that I am the very proud mother of a happy, healthy and totally normal 9 month old son =) I got pregnant shortly after posting this thread and my whole pregnancy and delivery was completely normal, problem free and most important of all, seizure free!! Towards the end of my pregnancy I did accumulate too much amniotic fluid but it wasn't a worry at all and my water ended up just breaking on its own 2 days after my due date which kicked off 21 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing, to which I welcomed a very healthy 7lb 14oz baby boy (with the help of the vacuum because he was coming down at an angle and was a bit stuck!). He was pretty jaundice for a while because he ended up getting some of my blood during delivery but that went away within 2 weeks. He does have an undescended teste which is fairly normal in boys anyway and has nothing to do with the lamictal. He already had the first surgery to fix that and is doing awesome. I haven't had any seizures since before I got pregnant which is really awesome since I was having them fairly often. And which is even more amazing seeing as my soon to be ex-husband wanted a divorce right before we found out I was pregnant and wanted one even faster once we found out I was pregnant a week later. I ended up having to move 9 hours away back to my hometown while I was terribly sick with morning sickness. To go through all of that stress and not have a seizure is pretty awesome I think! I was really scared about birth defects and such when I was ttc but now I know how small of a chance those things are especially with lamictal and in the future if I find someone else to spend the rest of my life with I will have no fears about having more children. Thank you all for your support and for sharing your stories! I wish you all the best of luck!
Comments
Re: terrified to get pregnant
Submitted by Eternal_Howl on Wed, 2010-06-30 - 22:19
I take clonazepam (monotherapy) for my epilepsy and never wanted kids, always worried about not wanting to subject a child to what I went through when I was a kid and not wanting to be on meds while pregnant.
I now DO want a kid (singular) and while it may be hard, I want to plan around getting off my meds before the pregnancy.
Olga, I do understand where you are coming from. Especially with clonazepam. This stuff works for me like nothing else did and if I were to have a seizure while off the meds, I would get the warning (I'm lucky). Lamictal didn't do anything that I am aware of - but who's to say it did not work. I also understand the comment about selfishness and the possibility of passing on E or a defect due to taking meds. But all pregnancies have risks. All people want their kids to be healthy and free of defects. And unless it's a running theme in the family, I would think the chance of passing on E to your child would be as likely as a child developing something else due to two different sets of genes coming together to bring about a mutation - which does happen too.
This thread has been very interesting to read and is allaying many of my fears about being epileptic and being bitten by the biology bug (no, not the clock about to expire! lol).
There is no necessary reason I would pass my E on to my child. My parents and their parents and the parents before them never had it.
For anyone wanting kids that have E, all I can suggest is (because I'm thinking about it too) look at reality, look at how you have to adapt (changing or stopping meds), job, transportation etc. Kids are a sacrifice anyway (in my opinion). They might be a gift to some, but they also entail a lot of self-sacrifice and putting someone else first. Adaptation and change comes with ANY child in the family - healthy or otherwise.
The people contributing on this forum are thinking. They are not blind. Many are terrified. I'm not terrified...just trying to figure out my wee juggling act to bring a once abhored idea - I DID NOT WANT KIDS (now dreamed of) to fruition so that the child prospers and the family is not strained. The mere idea my body tells me to have a kid is my notion that there's a child-spirit out there that thinks I might be a good parent (even though that is a real scary thought to me).
I take clonazepam (monotherapy) for my epilepsy and never wanted kids, always worried about not wanting to subject a child to what I went through when I was a kid and not wanting to be on meds while pregnant.
I now DO want a kid (singular) and while it may be hard, I want to plan around getting off my meds before the pregnancy.
Olga, I do understand where you are coming from. Especially with clonazepam. This stuff works for me like nothing else did and if I were to have a seizure while off the meds, I would get the warning (I'm lucky). Lamictal didn't do anything that I am aware of - but who's to say it did not work. I also understand the comment about selfishness and the possibility of passing on E or a defect due to taking meds. But all pregnancies have risks. All people want their kids to be healthy and free of defects. And unless it's a running theme in the family, I would think the chance of passing on E to your child would be as likely as a child developing something else due to two different sets of genes coming together to bring about a mutation - which does happen too.
This thread has been very interesting to read and is allaying many of my fears about being epileptic and being bitten by the biology bug (no, not the clock about to expire! lol).
There is no necessary reason I would pass my E on to my child. My parents and their parents and the parents before them never had it.
For anyone wanting kids that have E, all I can suggest is (because I'm thinking about it too) look at reality, look at how you have to adapt (changing or stopping meds), job, transportation etc. Kids are a sacrifice anyway (in my opinion). They might be a gift to some, but they also entail a lot of self-sacrifice and putting someone else first. Adaptation and change comes with ANY child in the family - healthy or otherwise.
The people contributing on this forum are thinking. They are not blind. Many are terrified. I'm not terrified...just trying to figure out my wee juggling act to bring a once abhored idea - I DID NOT WANT KIDS (now dreamed of) to fruition so that the child prospers and the family is not strained. The mere idea my body tells me to have a kid is my notion that there's a child-spirit out there that thinks I might be a good parent (even though that is a real scary thought to me).
Re: terrified to get pregnant
Submitted by ola111 on Sun, 2009-09-20 - 03:53
You see, knowing all the things that you posted in your reply, it seems like you know what you are doing. It just didn't seem in the post- this is why I reacted so strongly and even apologised in case I misunderstood you.
The written word is so easy to get misunderstood since I don't know your tone of voice, etc I don't know you and you don't know me. I didn't try to put my frustration on you either. I'm over with my frustration. What I will always try to argue with it's people who want to have children no matter what, just because they want, they should, or they don't have any other purpose in life. You don't seem like any of these people- and you did a little bit in the original post, which was quite short and lacking some information.
Each case of epilepsy is different- you take different medication, you have different seizures and therefore the risks are different. As I told you, I was also shown by my neurologist many cases of women with epi who had perfectly healthy children.
From what you tell in your reply I also can say that you will probably get pregnant and have this beautiful and healthy baby that you dream of, as most of people do and I wish your dream to come true.
To finish I would like to add- something that I had forgotten before- is that I was told that I wouldn't get a natural birth (I would have to have a C section) and also that I would have to be admitted in the hospital as a high risk pregnancy patient (I was told that by a third neurologist).
So if you can, just get a second opinion from a neurologist.
Take care and good luck! : )
Ola
http://everybodycan.wordpress.com/
You see, knowing all the things that you posted in your reply, it seems like you know what you are doing. It just didn't seem in the post- this is why I reacted so strongly and even apologised in case I misunderstood you.
The written word is so easy to get misunderstood since I don't know your tone of voice, etc I don't know you and you don't know me. I didn't try to put my frustration on you either. I'm over with my frustration. What I will always try to argue with it's people who want to have children no matter what, just because they want, they should, or they don't have any other purpose in life. You don't seem like any of these people- and you did a little bit in the original post, which was quite short and lacking some information.
Each case of epilepsy is different- you take different medication, you have different seizures and therefore the risks are different. As I told you, I was also shown by my neurologist many cases of women with epi who had perfectly healthy children.
From what you tell in your reply I also can say that you will probably get pregnant and have this beautiful and healthy baby that you dream of, as most of people do and I wish your dream to come true.
To finish I would like to add- something that I had forgotten before- is that I was told that I wouldn't get a natural birth (I would have to have a C section) and also that I would have to be admitted in the hospital as a high risk pregnancy patient (I was told that by a third neurologist).
So if you can, just get a second opinion from a neurologist.
Take care and good luck! : )
Ola
http://everybodycan.wordpress.com/