i called my favorite staff member of the facility tonight. i told her how crazt things were here. then we started joking around saying that i can always come back. LOL. cuz things got so crazy here today i was having second thoughts. is it really worth it? my therapist at the facility warned me about this.. but i didnt think it would be this bad... She told me that there are a lot of kids who do come back... ive been hospitalized 7 times... thats too many.. lets not make it 8.... when i was agruing with my family today i really did want to go back where  i didnt have to deal with any of that crap. sometimes i dont wanna live in my house. my family i bipolar. we scream at eachother and then we are best friends. I cant deal with this. my sister, and my mother are my main triggers. i have an amazing therapist and an amazing case worker. but my parents arent willing to change. i already did my part. That staf member told me to call and to continue to keep her updated.. and i told her to look out cuz my sister isnt so far away from the facility.. LOL... my transition was supposed to be easy but it is brining out the worst in everybody. I hope everything goes okay becasue i really REALLY dont want to go back and i WONT go back. that staff member also told me straight up to not do the crap i did before and some of you know what that was. And i wont, at least i hope not, becasue that is beyond me.

MY grandfather will hopefully be comming home tomorrow and he HATES arguing and yelling and all that shit. But i dont know somethings in life are tough and right now the phase im in is.

And PS to you, my dear staff member (who will remain unnamed for her privacy) I miss you but i REFUSE to comeback. the only way i would be comming back is if things get too unbearable at home. (my parents would probably not give concent to it though) i would not come back for the stupid reason as i was there for before

xoxo
Davita