I can't remember the last time that I posted on here, I don't remember if it was after we found out a solid diagnosis for Kaitlyn. (Well as solid as they get). If not, I will post that too. We found out on 7/31 that Kaitlyn is having activity all of the time, which is far from what we expected to hear. She has started the Trileptal now as of the 4th. She has had very little side effects and the ones that we have had are easier to deal with than the rage that she got from the Keppra. She has been slightly hyper, well really hyper but that's ok. Atleast she is happy. She has been eating great for her, which I am so happy about. She has started to have a different kind of a seizure which even that I can deal with, as long as this is working for her. The doctor said it's too soon to tell if the seizures are from the medicine and also how the side effects will be. But I think that she is doing well. I feel better about everything right now because she is doing better than I thought she would on the medicine.

Not that this relates to e.com but we found out on 8/3 that Christopher has some more stomach problems and we have to get an endoscopy done. He is also allergic to corn, potatoes and soybeans. The doctor said that he doesn't think that Christopher has ever had reflux and that it's something else. So I am sitting there thinking and thinking and it hits me... I think Christopher has something neurologically wrong with him, maybe seizures. We have an EEG scheduled on the 15th, one week from today. Kaitlyn's neuro is great. I called him and he said that he wants to see Christopher because of what he is doing. But we can't get in there until the 6th, which also happens to be the day that Kaitlyn was scheduled to see him anyway. Talk about working out. The more and more I have thought about it I think that Christopher has been having these symptoms for his whole life. He has always rocked back and forth, almost to soothe himself (kind of weird and makes me think Autism in the back of my mind). He will get on his knees and rock really hard too. He will also throw himself backwards out of no where, one or more times in a row... really hard! (Maybe seizure) He will then arch his back, go so stiff that he is hard to hold on to, and then limp.. limp as a noodle! He will do this more when he is tired, not sure. But this is what made him get diagnosed with reflux but the more I think about it, it doesn't seem like reflux at all. He will go so limp that I can't hold on to and have to put him in his bed in fear that he will hurt himself. He then goes into bed and falls asleep. I'm sort of freaking out. How do you deal with 2 kids with the same or similar problems? I guess, atleast they would be comforting to one another. I mean I know that we would deal, we have no choice. I'm just worried about what caused them both to have problems. I think that he is having space out episodes too. Not sure. We have to do a sleep deprived EEG which should be interesting with an infant almost toddler. We can't let him go to bed until 12 and we have to wake him up at 5:00 AM!! That should be fun. Hopefully Nic will be in a good mood to help me handle this task. He is in denial big time, he says that he doens't think that's what it is. But he is the one who mentioned it to me and made me realize/accept what he was doing. I think that he knows, he just doesn't want to accept it. I think that he is still in denial with Kaitlyn too.

I went to the doctor yesterday and had a bunch of tests run. I haven't been feeling well and the doctor asked me if I was depressed. I told her that I didn't think that I was but it was possible. I told Nic about the conversation and he said "Well you could be depressed..." I asked him if that meant that I was, and he said "Well why wouldn't you be." I guess I am. That's sort of hard to swallow. I hope that doesn't mean that I am a bear to be with.... hmm...

Well hope everyone that has read this is having a good day. Take care everyone and thank you everyone for all of the support you have provided me in this time of need.

Emily