So I think I spoke too soon about how good she had been acting. We have had two horrible days in a row now. I mean these days are bad, nothing we have experienced yet with her. All yesterday she was grouchy and just out of sorts. She was constantly acting her brother or just screaming and nothing would make her happy. I thought that it couldn't get any worse than yesterday, ha... I was wrong!

Today already at noon, it has already exceeded yesterday! We have had one seizure today, and so many outbursts I lost count!! Kaitlyn was pulling toys out and making a mess like usual, and fell down so she got mad!! Her brother was right behind her, so of course she took her aggression out on him. Before I could get to him, in a matter of seconds Kaitlyn had grabbed his face and scratched him bad enough to draw blood. I was furious!! I try so hard to not get mad at her, but how do you not. It is so frustrating, I don't know if this is her meds, the terrible twos or her seizures causing problems. I am still waiting on the good neuro to call me back and let me know what she wants to do. I am stumped! I just want my little girl back. I am tired of the anger. Even if the good days are few and far in between, I need a few here and there just to make through everything else. I need some light at the end of my tunnel... please!

I don't remember if I have posted about her horrible neuro (he is 30 minutes away) that we also see in addition to good E Specialist (that is 7-8 hrs away from us). Well we had a follow up appointment, that we scheduled back in March. We had seen the E specialist already so I wasn't sure if I should go and see him just to keep up the relationship in case something happened and we needed a neuro to see her right away. So we went, it was such a waste. He was horrible. We have never liked him, but he made my disgust for him even stronger!!! We got there on time, and about 30 minutes later we got called in, which is fine. We don't mind waiting. But we get called into the room, and the nurse is great, she always has been and she says that he will be right in, and about 20 minutes later he walks in and sits down. He doesn't say a word. He just sits down and starts to re-read her chart and write down notes from his old notes. I don't know what that is about, but it drives me nuts. He doesn't ask any questions, just writes for another 15 minutes. Keep in mind, Kaitlyn is 2 and we have now been there over an hour and we made a 45 minute drive there... so she is getting restless and so is Christopher. We start to tell him about our trip to St. Louis thinking that he would like to know it, he acts uninterested (he was the one who referred us to them since he couldn't give me the answers I needed and wanted from him). So about 15 more minutes pass, he has done the measuring the head, checking her reflex and then asks how she is handling the Topomax, and when I tell him that I didn't start the Topomax due to side effects that I had read, that I was comfortable with the medicine and that we went with the Keppra that the e specialist had recommended... he just stopped and looked and then started to write again. I started to ask him questions, and he dodged every question. I told him how Kaitlyn was drinking alot and peeing alot, and acted like she needed sugar. He ignored me. Nic had to leave the room with Christopher because he was fussy and was getting restless, so after Nic left Dr. Horrible looked at me and said "What is it that you want from me?" I swear my jaw must of hit the floor, I was shocked, confused... I asked him what? And he said again, "what do you want from me?" and I said I guess I don't understand, I just want answers. I want to understand what is going on with her. He said well do you want me to add more medicine, or up the Keppra. He said that the dose isn't doing anything and that it was such a small dose anyway. And I said that I wasn't ready to add more medicine yet, and what other options do we have. I said I wanted to know if the behavior was her, or the medicine, or the seizures and he said "after all she is on Keppra".... he must not like Keppra I take it. So 2 hrs have gone by since we got there. We still had no answers, and out of no where he just says "Well I'll see her in 3 months I guess, call your other neuro if you have questions"..... WHAT? We just wasted our time and money on that. So I go to the lobby and schedule the appointment, or to confirm the one that I had with a different neuro in that office in hopes of finding a better one, and the receptionist is making a big deal about it, and then Dr. Horrible comes over to me, and says "wait, did you say that she was peeing and drinking alot?" DUH!! Yes I said that... so then he orders blood work, and he wants to check the Keppra levels. I thought that the dose was so little, and wasn't working... why are you checking the level then?

I don't know, it was horrible, he was horrible. I found a doctor off of this website in the same city as this horrible neuro, so I made an appointment for July 6. I am hoping that he can answer the questions that I have and provide some must needed comfort from a doctor.

UGH!! What a week. We had one great day, a horrible doctor appointment and now 2 horrible days and a seizure. What is this?!! And still no word back on the blood work yet.

That's all. I'm a grouch. I'm in a horrible mood. It's contagious I think.